Posts

Our Family Photos 2018

December 13, 2018

Because every picture tells a story… A few weeks ago we had our family photos taken. Harbor was brand new. I was exhausted and emotional. Nursing was hard. Recovering from having a baby was hard. And introducing a new little one into our already chaotic world was hard. I knew Cooper wouldn’t touch his new brother or most likely sit with us for a photo but…I hoped anyways. I wanted pictures of my family. So, we tried. And here is what we got. I’m in love. As I look at…

The Hardest Day is Tomorrow

December 13, 2018

My name is Stacy, and I’m a married stay at home mom with four kids. My nine year old son Mason is neurotypical, which is the politically correct way of saying he’s “normal” or NOT autistic. My 7 year old daughter Elliott was recently diagnosed with Tourette Syndrome, which was enough to make me want to check myself in to the loony bin. Like seriously, I’m waving the white flag and really need to NOT have any more diagnoses handed down for a while. But that’s a different story for…

The Different Stages of Accepting Autism

December 12, 2018

I had no idea that there would be so many different stages surrounding my son’s autism. For example I thought getting the diagnosis would be the hardest part. I really did. I thought going through the pain of realizing something was wrong, making the phone call for the appointment, bringing my baby to be evaluated and hearing the words, ‘yes he is autistic,’ would be the hardest parts we would ever have to go through. We would get help and it would be fine. I was wrong. There are so…

When Things Are Not As Expected

December 12, 2018

I’m in bed feeding my beautiful boy his bottle of milk. He’s cradled in my arms and I’m enjoying the cuddle, the quiet, the stillness. Then his brother walks in, leans over and kisses his brother on the forehead. I’ve waited for a moment like this for a lifetime, literally. My heart could burst. Their first kiss! Then I’m bought back down to earth with such an overwhelming pang of sadness. I can’t help but feel it. It’s a bittersweet moment because I’m feeding and cradling in my arms my…

When You Feel Like You Don’t Belong in Society Anymore

December 12, 2018

There have been many “hardest” autism moments, and the truth is, when I think it can’t get harder, there is always a next time that makes it harder. I hope that makes sense. There have been many “best moments” too, but let’s talk about the hard times, because we currently just had a horrible moment. The first hardest autism moment came before I even knew he had autism. We had just dropped Dad off for a year long deployment at the airport. I wouldn’t have even attempted the store, but…

You Can’t Let Cooper Win

December 11, 2018

This weekend I shared a photo of Cooper resting after a pretty brutal anxiety attack. You can read about it HERE. I wrote about how our family is at a unique crossroads. We need to figure out how to manage his anxiety, give our other children a normal life and keep our sanity. i said anxiety won. And someone responded with…’you can’t let Cooper win.’ Like he was deliberately sabotaging our family outing. I just shook my head when I read that. Cooper isn’t winning. No one is. We are…

My Motherhood

December 11, 2018

Being a mom is the biggest blessing that I have ever been given. It is also the most challenging adventure that I have ever been on. When I found out that I was pregnant, I dreamed of all the fun things my son and I were going to do. I dreamed what my son was going to accomplish. And then one day, I realized my dreams were just dreams, and that my reality was different than what I had ever imagined it was going to be. Motherhood looks different than…

Autism and Christmas (VIDEO)

December 11, 2018

For the first six years of my son’s life he didn’t care at all about Christmas. He didn’t care about the presents, or the tree, or Santa. He didn’t care about celebrating with our family, or traditions, or preparing for the holiday. It was so hard on our family. And as he got older, it got harder. There was no making a Christmas list, attending church, baking cookies, visiting Santa or even going to dinner at Grandma’s house. Not only did he not understand, he detested opening gifts, the music,…

I Don’t Have Children, I Have Penguins

December 11, 2018

Last year, I felt more worried than usual that our program numbers were going to drop. I’m a choreographer for a theatre program for kids with disabilities who are partnered by peer mentors, a unique program called the Penguin Project. We’d been running our Penguin chapter for 4 years, and I knew the day would come when Artists and Mentors who had been with us from the beginning would start to move on, to jobs or high school activities or dance or sports. I was preparing myself for it. Seeking…

Our Weekend in Five Photos

December 10, 2018

Taking photos of my beautiful boys and crazy, wild life is one of my favorite things to do. Part of me wishes I would have became a photographer. Photos show our life in a way that my written words never could. Super Cooper celebrated his eight birthday at school on Friday. He brought cupcakes and they had a dance party. I can’t even tell you how much it means to me to get photos sent to me of him enjoying his day. When you have a nonverbal kid, you typically…