I’m that mum, the helicopter mum that follows my child around the park the whole time. The one you roll your eyes at when you see the worried look on my face if I lose sight of my child for a split second. Getting to the park itself took so much energy. We had to fight through his anxiety. It was such an achievement to even get him out of the car. To you and your friends, I look overprotective. You might even think at first glance that I need…
There’s something about the way she she holds onto him in this photo. It tugs at my heartstrings every time I see it. She’s the younger one, the little sister, but there’s nothing “little” about the way she loves him. Her brother has autism and she knows sometimes he needs a little extra guidance, love and protection. When she takes his hand, wrapping her arm around him with a sense of protection that seems far beyond her years, it’s as if she’s shielding him from a world that doesn’t always…
To the mama whose baby isn’t starting school today. To the parent who is wondering if they should take the picture. And wondering if they should celebrate just another day. To the dad whose sending some kids back to school but not the others. To the parent feeling a twinge of sadness today. Or a lot. I understand. Your child doesn’t go to a typical school. They go to therapy. There are no grade levels. Just continuous time. Or maybe they do but they aren’t really in a grade. On…
Something beautiful happened today with my oldest son, Cooper. He is 13 years old and has a disability. He was three years old when they told me he had autism. Severe nonverbal autism they said. What followed was a list of all the things he would supposedly never do. Brick by brick the predictions were made. Each one crushed me. I’ll tell you at age 13 he amazes me every single day. I won’t say it’s easy. For him. For us. But it’s good. Amazing even. Today I was upset.…
I often say having a son with nonverbal autism has given me the gift of sight. Before him I didn’t truly see people or the world. Now I do. I see the good and the kindness. He’s also taught me that there is more than one way to live. To enjoy. To experience. To be joyful. Cooper has been asking us, nonverbally of course, for weeks, maybe even months, to sleep in his grandparent’s camper. He showed me videos on YouTube of camping. He used his speech device to present…
I’m twenty five and still don’t know what my own systems are trying to tell me. Why? Because I have autism, and that brings problems with one’s interoception. Which tells you if you are you are hot, you are cold, or when you have to go to the bathroom, or when you should be feeling pain. One night this week, my mom and I were up about every two hours; I was in immense pain. We agreed not to go in the middle of the night because of the deer…
Today, after nearly ten years of sharing about autism, hoping to shatter stigmas and lessen fears around those who are different, it finally happened. I lost faith in the internet. And let me tell you, prior to today, I’ve seen some stuff. Stuff you probably wouldn’t believe. Awful, demoralizing stuff. But today, I saw the worst. And as a disclaimer, please know this is not a political post. Anyone who knows me knows I’d rather start my eyelashes on fire than post about politics. This is a post about humanity.…
Life has a way of shifting our priorities, reshaping who we are in ways we never expected. Parenthood does that, and for me, autism amplified it. Ten fold. The woman I was years ago would barely recognize the person I’ve become today. But every now and then, something, or rather, someone, reminds me of the life I once led and the connections that have remained constant through it all. I had one of those reminders on Friday night when I did something I never do. I went out. It was…
Sometimes, parenting kids in all of their typicalness confuses me. The curiosity. The independence. The ease. My first baby made me a mama 13 years ago. Then, together, we crashed into what I call the secret world of autism. I’ve never known a second of parenting without factoring in disability. The hyper vigilance. The worry. The fear. The hope. It’s just different. It’s climbing play structures and always getting into the pool and holding hands and heads during a meltdown in a busy street. It’s explaining and asking for accommodations…
Perspective Matters Why is perspective important in life Perspective Matters. It’s a matter of perspective. I’ve been up for several hours researching, and figuring out ways to do what’s best for our child as we navigate our IEP situation. I know it will all work out exactly the way it’s supposed to. I stopped for a moment to think about perspective. Seeing each situation for what it is and honoring where they as human beings are in life. Yes, on several occasions my mind wanted to go into judgment by…
