A Family Full of Love: Why We Had More Kids, Not Replacements

Someone once told me that my husband and I had a third and fourth children as replacements for our oldest son. See the little one on the left there with the mischievous smile? And the little princess in the yellow dress? Those two. I assume they wrote that comment to hurt me. Or to remind me what a crappy mom I am. Or maybe they were just angry and miserable. Who knows I guess. What a ridiculous statement though. A replacement child. I’m not sure why we would ever replace…

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Why Time and Love Matter: Sibling Connection and Autism

Last night after putting my four kids to bed, I found myself staring at this picture from across my living room. Cooper was 8. Sawyer was 6. And my third was just a few days old. The perfect photo of three brothers. Except, it wasn’t perfect. Not in anyway. Cooper refused to touch the baby. He was very scared of him. The baby had been home 7 days at that point and Cooper had yet to really even acknowledge him. He refused to lie down when the photographer asked. He…

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A Friendship Beyond Words: The Love Story That Truly Matters

What is love? Or even a love story? I guess we all know the traditional one. The stereotypical one.But I know a better one.A friendship.My son Cooper is 14 years old. He is what they call…nonspeaking. See, at three years old they told me he had autism. And then around age six the professionals told me he would most likely never speak. And somewhere along that way, a daycare provider told me he would never make a friend. I’ll never forget it. It’s one of those moments who made me…

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Dancing in the Rain: The Truth About ‘This Too Shall Pass’ for Special Needs Parents

There is a saying that is said at one time or another to every parent. This too shall pass. I remember being told those words as I held each of my newborns, exhausted from cluster feeding and lack of sleep. Again during the never ending messes that kids make. During potty training woes and tantrums over blue cups and the wrong shoes. And I guess in most cases it’s true right? The hard moments do pass. Usually. Babies start sleeping. Messes stop. Little humans learn to communicate. Kids get more…

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Two Brothers, One Game: A Special Moment 14 Years in the Making

This picture. The older brother watching the younger brother play goalie. Probably seems like nothing special. But it is. It’s hugely special. It’s a diagnosis of autism for the older one. The younger one learning alongside him. It’s years of hard work and practice. It’s deep breaths and waiting patiently. It’s noise and sound and cold. It’s also a family, all together, watching a hockey game. I don’t know a lot about autism. I am no expert. I can’t tell you the mysteries of my son for sure. Nor can…

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Finding Faith Through Autism: A Mother’s Journey of Prayer

I just came from church. I went alone today. I could have brought my two younger children but honestly, I needed 60 minutes to myself to sit and think. I chuckle at what I consider to be a ‘relaxing break’ now. Anyhow I don’t often talk about church on this page. Because like politics and vaccinating and puzzle pieces and the color blue, it can anger people. And that isn’t what my mission is about. I refuse to argue about autism. Not anymore. I’m too busy making sure my son…

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Unlocking My Son’s World: The Joy of Texts from My Nonverbal Teen

I have a story to share with you. A little long possibly, but worth the read. My son Cooper is 14 years old. He has a diagnosis of nonverbal/nonspeaking autism. He loves trains and swimming and asks me every single day to go to outer space with his friends, the Little Einsteins.He is in 8th grade. He communicates in a variety of ways. Some words and sounds. Gestures. A speech device. Sign language. Typing. And most recently a cell phone.He’s never quiet. He loves to take photographs. When he’s feeling…

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Happy Birthday, Sawyer!

Today is my son Sawyer’s 12th birthday. Which is a really big deal. Because according to him he’s basically 16. I am a storyteller. At least I consider myself one. I think our stories are what complete us. And telling stories about Sawyer are my favorite. And I write them down so one day, when I am old and grey, we will have them to look at. This is my favorite Sawyer story… We had arrived at Cooper’s school to pick him up for the day. It was Jamie, Sawyer,…

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Unmasking Autism: A Mother’s Love Letter

My son, I used to be so scared of different. Of standing out. I preferred to blend in. Not rock the boat as they say. But you kid. You changed all that. You were born to stand out. To be different. When you were little I’d get so scared. The fear would almost paralyze me. In a way you were fearless because you didn’t care what people thought. And I’ll admit, that frightened me. We’d be in a waiting room or at a park. Everyone else would be sitting. Or…

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An Arcade Adventure with My Autistic Son

A while back we visited an arcade. It was a big adventure for our family of six. Our second son loves all things gaming. And our 3 and 6 year olds love tagging after their older brother. And Cooper, our eldest son, he is just starting to take in the world outside of our home. He loves exploring and experiencing the world on his own terms. He is fourteen years old. He loves trains and postcards with animals on them. He also has autism. He is autistic. And according to…

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