Posts by Kate Swenson
Where Would I be Without Autism?
I had an interesting experience this past week. My husband and I volunteered to be apart of a research study looking at how having a child with autism affects our marriage. There were a lot of expected questions like, “what things are more challenging when you have a child with autism compared to other families?”, and “how do you cope with the stress as a married couple”. Some of the questions were hard to answer, some were very easy. There was one question that struck me to the core that…
Read MoreAn Open Letter to the Person who Knows how to Cure Autism
Stop emailing me. Stop emailing parents like me. Stop. Just stop. Remove us from your mailing list. Leave us alone. Please. Because while I’m weathered enough now to not get my hopes up and fall for these things, many parents aren’t yet. You are preying on families. Moms and dads of newly diagnosed children who have just heard the word autism said out loud for the first time about their beautiful child. ‘Give your child this pill and their autism will be gone.’ ‘Have your child watch this video and…
Read MoreHas Autism Changed our decision to have more Children?
July 8th. That date will sit in my head forever. It was the day my son Carter was diagnosed with autism. As his mom knew for about a year before that Carter might have a delay or be “different”. He wasn’t speaking or doing simple things that other kids his age were doing. But before I really noticed anything with Carter his dad and I decided we wanted him to have a sibling. I grew up close with my sisters and I wanted that for my children. Being pregnant with…
Read MoreThe Message The Today Show Sent about Healthy Babies
If you run in the special needs parenting circles you’ve heard about the segment The Today Show did on how big of a relief it was for the former Olympic gymnast Shawn Johnson and her husband to get the test results back that their baby did not have Down Syndrome and was “genetically healthy”. I actually was watching The Today Show the morning it was aired. One thing I thought was a bit distasteful was how they were teasing it up in the promos. Like, tune in, hopefully there is…
Read MoreI am so Thankful for my Cheer Squad
Special needs parenting is rough. I’m not gonna sugar coat it anymore. It is the single most hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. The first two years were pretty typical, I always looked to my friends for mom advice. Diaper cream, sippy cups etc. The last three have been hard. I don’t have anyone to ask for advice anymore. It’s just us. My husband, our pre-verbal ASD son and me. We make a great team and my son is the MVP. He is tough, smart and even though…
Read MoreWhat it Could Be
A long time ago, back before the diagnosis, before autism was a word in our vocabulary, I had a little boy. He was two years old. He had blonde hair and hazel eyes. He was busy. So busy. He never stopped moving. Sometimes not even when he was sleeping. He was rarely happy or content. He screamed in the car. He screamed when we were outside. He screamed in restaurants and stores. No matter what we did, he wasn’t happy. I knew something was wrong. But I didn’t know what…
Read MoreYou See a Boy and a Baby
You see a boy and a baby. It’s so much more than that. I see an 8-year-old boy and a 9 month old baby. Brothers. The boy is sitting in his driveway. Outside. Near a road. Safely. Sitting. He isn’t running. He isn’t eloping. He is calmly sitting. Next to his baby brother. A baby brother who is touching him. Leaning into him. Reaching for his tablet. Touching his arm and his leg. If you could hear you would hear Barney singing the ABC’s. The boy is babbling about the…
Read MoreLiving our Kind of Normal
I was on YouTube the other day during one of my many research missions about autism and I came across a video. The lighting was poor and the camera angles were even worse. It made me a little nervous at first since you never really know what will pop up during a search, but the caption insisted it was an “interview with autism parent” so I kept watching. On camera was this person, who I can only assume was a reporter, and he was interviewing a distraught mother with a…
Read MoreIf it Never Gets Any Better…
Part of me started to believe it was going to be really hard forever. Part of me started to only know how to live in the intensity. The chaos. I learned how to manage. How to react. I found happiness there. It was my normal. I could handle it all. The running. The self injuring. The screaming. I perfected ‘first-then,’ token boards, timers, a speech device, therapy, calm body-calm hands, family skills…you name it. I could do it all. I made your happiness the center of my world kid. Willingly.…
Read MoreCoping with Autism
I’m an optimist at heart. I really am. So, when I got the diagnosis of autism for my daughter I remained hopeful. She was two then. I had actually known she had autism since she was 10 months. At 10 months Antoinette never looked at me when I made a sound. She never made eye contact. She never cried. Crying is a form of communication. She wasn’t communicating. I watched my daughter and thought to myself “she’s a genius, that’s what this is.” I told myself that daily. Three years…
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