Posts by Kate Swenson
The Beauty Of A Complicated Path
Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about the paths that each of my boys will take as they grow up. Three sons. 9, 7 and 1. Cooper, my oldest, well, it’s been complicated. So many daycares until we finally couldn’t find one to take him anymore. Then starting in the school district at age three, multiple day programs, IEP meetings, transportation to and from, trusting the world with my tiny, yet mighty, nonverbal, unaware child who could hardly hold up his backpack. I waved goodbye to a child who didn’t know…
Read MoreHow Do I Protect My Son From His Skin?
The world is fighting CovID-19 and black people are fighting to stay alive. Black men in particular are being murdered and threatened for no reason at all, other than being black. Black families are having hard necessary conversations with their children, even if you don’t want to or feel as though they’re too young it’s being forced on us due to the daily news reports. We are literally getting no days off from the trauma. My son Caleb had a speech evaluation yesterday and he scored below average on the…
Read MoreFinding The Ones Who Understand
When I was pregnant for the first time, so were a bunch of my friends. We had plans. Our kids were going to be best friends and grow up together. We would watch them meet milestones together and bring them to the park for playdates. It was going to be the, let’s be honest, the somewhat unrealistic expectation most first time moms have, but I have seen it happen, the pictures posted online to prove it. Some best friends do get to extend those deep connections to their children and…
Read MoreTeaching Kids Kindness
Before I had babies, and even when they were younger, I had preconceived notions of what I would teach them throughout their lives. I assumed how to walk. And talk. Throw a ball. Read and write. I assumed we’d practice riding a bike and hitting a baseball. Later on I’d teach them to drive a car and how to dress for an interview and tip at a restaurant. Tangible things. It’s funny now because yes, those things matter. A’s on tests matter. Making the team matters. But kindness matters too.…
Read MoreA Letter to My Little Brother
Hey brother, I’m hoping that someday I can say this all to you. But there is a chance that I might never be able to…I’m hoping that when you are older you will read this and understand. I know I confuse you. I’m so loud. I flap my arms. I don’t notice toys. Or play sports. Or like to leave our house. I don’t have any friends. Or really pay any attention to you either. I just like mom and dad. I don’t play like you. I have never ridden…
Read MoreWhat We Won’t Do For Our Kids
When I have kids they will never… Remember those thoughts? From before you had children of your own? I had them for sure. My two favorites were…I will never have dirty car seats because my babies will never eat in my car. And my kids will never have snotty noses. Of course I didn’t have one kid, let alone three at that time. I laugh at that now as I hand food back to a screaming child and clean goldfish pieces from my floor mats. And as I use my…
Read MoreFathers and First-Borns
Jamie is often asked by dads of newly diagnosed boys…’was it hard not having the typical experiences with your first born?’ Jamie is so honest about it. So matter of fact with his answer. He doesn’t sugar coat it. Or dance around with his answers. He’ll talk about pitching baseballs with his own father. For hours and hours. Day after day. He will tell stories of jumping his bike, catching fish and camping. He will go on and on about his old man being his best friend for so many…
Read MoreWhen Vacationing Is “Brave”
‘You’re so brave for going on vacation without your kids. I could never do that as a mother.’ Hold up. Stop the train. What a thing to read at 3 am. That is what we call a backhanded compliment. I get them all the time. But this one, well, it struck a nerve. See, I did go on vacation. I abandoned my three sweet boys and husband to go to Disney for four blissful days. I pushed pause on my own work, canceled therapy appointments and organized what I could…
Read MoreHe Said He Can’t Breathe, Mama
Last night, I was glued to the local news, when my son came paddling down the stairs in his pajamas. His hair was crazy messed and his skin tan from the sun already, even though it is still only May. It was 10:17 pm. He should have been sleeping. He knew that. I knew that. But he also knew that there was some sort of flashy light noise thingy keeping him awake. At least that is what he tried to convince me of. I was tired of bedtime negotiations and…
Read MoreIt Started With Hope
My story, like most stories, started with hope. Sixteen years ago, hope welled inside of me like an eternal spring of flowers, butterflies, and sunshine. Hi. My name is Carrie. I have five kids and my second son has autism. His name is Jack. Ever since he was diagnosed nearly sixteen years ago, I hoped for many things. I hoped the doctor was wrong. I hoped he would outgrow it. Mostly, I hoped he would maybe sleep longer than an hour and say the word milk instead of screaming. Over…
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