Archive for October 2020
A Letter Meant to Quiet an Already Silenced Child
The weather outside is glorious. So you capitalize on it and pop out to get some fresh air with your child. Outdoors is their happy place. The place where they can be free to run, and play, and holler, and giggle. The place where volume isn’t a factor, and you’ve not a care in the world. You can just “be”. For many individuals with Autism, just like our five year-old son Beckett, outdoors is a safe space. And one of the only true places that we get to witness the…
Read MoreVery Nice Boy
Yesterday my son rode the bus for the first time to school. I was nervous. I thought about getting in my car and following but didn’t because I knew it would be great. When the bus pulled in the driveway after his school day I was waiting as the big doors opened. My first question…’how did he do?’ As a mom of a kid who has struggled in the past, and still does at times, I was ready. I’ve built up this armor you could say. Waiting for the negative.…
Read MoreThe First Ride
Two weeks ago, this kid asked me to ride the bus. Sorta out of the blue. He verbalized it…’H-U-SSS.’ (B’s are hard for him.) He showed me busses on YouTube. He showed me busses in books. He pointed them out in the community. And me, being the mom I am, smiled, cheered, and thought…no way. I’m too scared. He’s too vulnerable. I can’t do it. Nope. But his dad, well he reminded me how I preach about independence. Nonstop. I want my son to make his own choices. I want…
Read MoreVictories At The Orchard
Today was a big day for this kid and our family. We went to the Afton Apple Orchard. You know the kind with lots of noise and people and waiting and walking. And we went as a family. We invited our friends to come along as well. See in our world, we need help. We know that now. We know our strengths and our weaknesses. And our Cooper, he requires both mom and dad sometimes. We had a lot of wins today. Cooper petted his first llama, sheep, donkey and goat!…
Read MoreBird Set Free
I used to feel trapped..like a bird in a cage. I couldn’t leave my home. I felt isolated from the world outside. I felt left behind from the life I had known. Before…Autism. I couldn’t find anyone who was like me. Anyone who understood what it was like to be a special needs parent. I had no one to talk to about my son’s challenging behaviors. No familiar face to look upon and see that same tired daze from years of sleep deprivation and worry. I couldn’t share the intimate…
Read MoreTo My Special Son as You Approach Adulthood
I cannot believe how quickly the last seventeen years has flown by. When I glance over at you, intently focused on the television screen with unshaven stubble presently on your face, I can vividly picture my adorable, chubby cheeked toddler. I remember every minute of each therapy session you tolerated multiple days a week like it was yesterday – always working extremely hard to overcome significant motor delays, never giving up on hitting those many milestones, at your own pace. Your ability to invent creative solutions for…
Read MoreWinter
Hi. My name is Carrie. I am a wife, a yogi, a writer, a book-reader, and a mother of five. I am also Special Needs Mama with a Special Needs Kiddo. His name is Jack. He is sixteen years old. When you have a Special Needs Kiddo, the weekend can feel very, very long. I know, I’m not supposed to admit this. I’m supposed to tell you all the fun things I create for my son and I to do together—interesting outings with built-in lessons, long hikes through the autumn…
Read MoreBoth of My Children Are Normal
“Is your daughter normal?” the nurse asked. “So far she’s developing typically,” I replied, The conversation moved on but I couldn’t shake the word “normal.” The word swirled around my head and gave me a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. Normal. Compared to what? I looked down at Everett, my autistic two year old, watching Daniel Tiger on his kindle , wondering if he’d heard and then wondering if he understood. If he did, how did it make him feel? As a physician assistant, and medically speaking,…
Read MoreAdaptive Costumes are Changing Halloween for the Special Needs Community
“And what does Whitman want to be this year for Halloween?!” I usually roll my eyes as the words hang in the air. In his almost seven years of life my son Whitman has never really cared for Halloween. It isn’t from a lack of trying on our part. Every year we get numerous costumes. We attempt. We battle. What should be this amazingly fun time in your childhood is just stress and tears, more from me than anyone. I have tried to throw expectation out the window but I’m…
Read MoreThe Hard Doesn’t Own Me
We’re not supposed to complain. Special needs families, that is. The world calls you an ableist when you lament an ability or lack thereof. I’ve never felt this child of mine was lacking. He’s nothing short of amazing. How could someone so funny and clever and filled with light be anything besides perfection? But, boy, is he hard. Nearly seven years of eternal toddlerhood and a few words repeat themselves on the many pages of his complicated history. Developmental delay, genetic disorder, autism, anxiety, adhd. These are the tricky pieces…
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