Adaptive Costumes are Changing Halloween for the Special Needs Community

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“And what does Whitman want to be this year for Halloween?!” I usually roll my eyes as the words hang in the air. In his almost seven years of life my son Whitman has never really cared for Halloween. 

It isn’t from a lack of trying on our part.

Every year we get numerous costumes.

We attempt.

We battle.

What should be this amazingly fun time in your childhood is just stress and tears, more from me than anyone. I have tried to throw expectation out the window but I’m just a human who loves Halloween who really deep down just wants her son to love Halloween too.

In years past we have had problems finding a costume. We usually stick to street clothes idea. This year we were leaning towards our three year old being a deer, goat, or cow, and Whitman being a hunter. She has some strong opinions for a three year old and has decided that she wants to be pink Minnie with pink strappy shoes and there’s just something about Whitman being a hunter that’s just wrong.

We were looking for a costume that was soft, comfortable, and maybe wasn’t heavy. Whitman isn’t a fan of an outfit that’s weighted. We also want one that has minimum zippers and buttons. Whitman is OCD about how high his zipper is and no matter what size he is his buttons have to be on the tightest hole.

We have been hopeful this season that we’ll be able to confidently tell people what Whitman is being. With his lack of interest and needing a not so “costumey’ costume we are hoping this year we can find a winner because previous years have been rough. 

Two years ago we tried to have Whitman be a squirrel. It was the cutest costume. We worked with him in therapy and school. We brought it out at home. We were the squirrels hype man.

Whitman would not come close to it.

Thankfully, I had bought a dinosaur sweatsuit from Old Navy so we went that route instead. Last year we thought maybe he’d like to be something new but every costume from superman to a puppy ended horribly.

So we opted for him to be Elliot from E.T. It was the perfect plan. I found an E.T. doll on Amazon we made his tricycle look like the iconic bike.

Then trick or treat came. And Whit wanted nothing to do with the tricycle. We also some how lost E.T. So he was just a kid in a red hoodie.

At his school Halloween party his teacher put a name tag on him that said: the kid from E.T.

I felt like I should be embarrassed or heartbroken by this but I wasn’t.

I laughed.

Because it summed up Halloween with a child on the spectrum. It never goes as it’s planned.

You can feel like an ongoing failure especially around the these types of Holidays…but then we were made aware that Disney, Target, and some other chains were making adaptive costumes for kids with sensory issues. This had me excited. Maybe this year would be the year that we could find a costume that Whitman would wear!

Maybe he could be a soft fuzzy monster and rock it with pride.

Maybe he could be a Disney character.

Maybe just maybe he would tell us what character he prefers from Disney and that could be the win of Halloween.

I’m grateful that society is starting to accept kiddos who have different abilities and very different needs. Not every child fits a specific mold.

It’s almost a salt to a never healing wound when you go into a store to buy your toddler a costume and know that your sweet six year old doesn’t have a costume that will work for him. His costume can’t be picked up at Target last minute. There has to be weeks of thinking…outlines and picture boards involved. It’s so overwhelming. 

This year with the adaptive collection at various big box stores we have some hope that maybe this will be our year to rock Halloween.

It’s so nice to feel represented in this world.

The number one thing I’ve learned in the Autism world is you’re always advocating for a place at a table that isn’t made for you but you want to fit in so you force yourself to be at the table.

In years past for Halloween, I’ve felt like that for Whit. I felt like we already don’t feel like we belong.

We see the stares when our super tall almost seven year old babbles instead of speaks.

When he’s overwhelmed in a situation and he just lays down or even worst just screams.

This Halloween I feel a glimmer of hope like society is slowly starting to see Whitman. See him for this amazingly curious, obviously smart, but a little quirky sweet boy. 

In our world we hope in different ways.

We hope that Whitman will walk for Halloween.

We hope that he’ll have fun.

We hope people won’t stare as we attempt to take him house to house.

This year we hope he’ll wear his mask and that won’t be a thing.

We hope that there isn’t a meltdown. Last year there was meltdown. It was awful. I’m still on the fence about if we’ll be present at our yearly Halloween bash with my husband’s family.

We hope that this will be the year Whit picks his Halloween costume. This year we are a little more hopeful because Whitman has costumes geared towards his needs.

I think we’re leaning towards this shark! 

Written by, Lindsey E. Althaus

Lindsey is a mom, wife, and blogger at The Althaus Life. She lives in Ohio with her husband and 2 children. Her son Whitman is 6 and has Autism, Apraxia, and Epilepsy. Genevieve is 3 and is the life of the party always keeping Lindsey and Jeremy on their toes. Lindsey is grateful all things and to be able to chronicle her beautifully broken laugh til you cry cry until you laugh life.

Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook, subscribe for exclusive videos, and subscribe to our newsletter.

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Kate Swenson

Kate Swenson lives in Minnesota with her husband Jamie, and four children, Cooper, Sawyer, Harbor and Wynnie. Kate launched Finding Cooper's Voice from her couch while her now 11-year-old son Cooper was being diagnosed with autism. Back then it was a place to write. Today it is a living, thriving community of people who want to not only advocate for autism, but also make the world a better place for individuals with disabilities and their families. Her first book, Forever Boy, will be released, April 5, 2022.

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