Bird Set Free
I used to feel trapped..like a bird in a cage. I couldn’t leave my home. I felt isolated from the world outside.
I felt left behind from the life I had known.
Before…Autism.
I couldn’t find anyone who was like me. Anyone who understood what it was like to be a special needs parent. I had no one to talk to about my son’s challenging behaviors. No familiar face to look upon and see that same tired daze from years of sleep deprivation and worry.
I couldn’t share the intimate details of our life.
The confusing and scary ones.
The depth of grief and loneliness that I was drowning in.
Because they wouldn’t get it.
They didn’t live it.
One day, that changed when I stumbled upon a video of a mom crying about how hard it is to parent a child with severe Autism. I was in awe of her honesty and bravery.
Until then, I never saw anyone speak about our lives so openly.
I had spent previous months searching the web for others who I could talk to about my concerns, about questions I had, only to be shut out for mentioning therapies, treatments and for claiming this new life that blew in like a hurricane, wiping away my old one, was a struggle for me.
The woman that shared that video…her life instantly changed when it went viral, but along with that, so did mine.
I found a place to go to every morning that was comforting and finally familiar. When I listened to her share her story, I heard parts of my own. I could immediately relate to her roller coaster of emotions and the trial and error of what this uncertain life brings us as a special needs parent.
I found myself starting to talk about it with others online. There was no one sitting across from me with that far off look someone gets when they wish you would shut up.
And that’s what I did in the beginning. I went silent like my son.
You start to take notice of how much you talk about something that no one else wants to hear about.
Because they simply can’t relate or they just simply can’t listen. They are going through their own process of acceptance and it’s drastically different from yours, like my husband’s.
They aren’t the ones in the cage with you.
Or they’re in their own.
I continued to share my everyday with this woman..and watched her following grow to hundreds of thousands. I started to find my own voice. As I slowly opened up, I began to talk about how my son didn’t sleep. Everyone on the page seemed to get it.
Then this lady, did something no one had ever heard of.
She figured out a way to connect ALL OF US.
It was no longer just us commenting about her videos and stories.We were telling our own. Even the difficult ones…
Helplessly watching your child injure themselves.
Unbelievable episodes of aggression towards you and members of your family.
Terrifying seizures, hospital visits and medications.
Sleepless nights thinking about how we may may lose them because they don’t understand danger.
And even..
What happens to them…If they lose us.
We were now growing day by day, thousands of us around the world chatting daily to each other about special needs parenting. But we weren’t crying about it all the time. Now we we were laughing ,joking,sharing pic quotes and memes to spark joy amidst the chaos.
Working out together and praying together.
Zooming face to face, making real friends.
And then that’s when it happened..that’s when I realized..
She set me free.
All of her hard work and dedication to helping her son did that for me and other women around the world. Learning from her, and being a part of a community of strong, capable, funny, brilliant, kind, devoted mothers paved a new path for me.
All of a sudden I was telling my own stories. I was reassuring other moms, guiding them with my knowledge, experience, and the greatest lesson I have learned so far through this journey..
Although there’s no map that anyone hands you when your child is diagnosed, look for the stories that will lead you down the right paths. Those stories will become your survival guide and telling your own, will be someone else’s in the future.
It’s a lesson I am so incredibly grateful for. It changed my outlook on this life and the bleak future I used to envision. It reinvented me into a stronger and resilient woman. It’s given me a new purpose and it’s made me a better mother to my children.
I don’t feel alone anymore and I don’t want anyone else to be either.
So find those stories and tell your own.
Tell them loud and proud.
Educate and advocate.
And don’t EVER leave out the hard.
That’s what truly connects us, what makes us human.
Be a lifeline for someone else and set yourself free.
If you would like to become a part of a growing community full of love and friendship, where there is no judgement, a safe place to laugh or cry..a place where you even may realize someone like you lives only miles away, where you can connect face to face and make lifelong friendships..join our fabulous “Troop” today over at Finding Cooper’s Voice. https://www.facebook.com/becomesupporter/772295979579532/
Written by, Sheryl St.Aubin
My name is Sheryl. I am a wife and very sleep-deprived Mama Bird to three beautiful children, all with various special needs, including autism. I am a very active member of Coop’s Troops, where I have met some of my best friends. I spend my days helping connect other special needs mamas, homeschooling my youngest, and juggling this crazy life. I enjoy writing and listening to music, accompanied by a cup of coffee or a good glass of Moscato. You can follow our journey on Instagram: threelittlebirds321 or n Facebook at Three Little Birds – Raising Kids on the Autism Spectrum.
Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook, subscribe for exclusive videos, and subscribe to our newsletter.
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