Archive for September 2020
Growing Older Together
Yesterday, I had an out of body experience. I was walking along the river with my son Cooper and my husband. We had to get him out of the house, which has been nearly impossible to do since COVID. As we walked along, I held his hand. Every few seconds he would pull it away from me to do something on his iPad or point to a duck or flap his arms happily or hold two fingers up to remind me that his Amazon should be here today. I would…
Read MoreThe Choices We Make
Sawyer, Tonight you called me from dad’s truck after your hockey game. I answered, even though my hands were full. You screamed, ‘I scored a goal!’ into the phone. On my end I’m sure you heard screaming. But not in celebration. See I was in the middle of a brutal meltdown with your older brother. A scary one honey. No ones fault. Not his. Not yours. One like we haven’t seen in 15 months. Not since the last time. It was over the mail. And Amazon. And packages. I was…
Read MoreFight For The Truth
“Wait and see.” Sound familiar? Was that your experience? You hear it all the time. But should you? My opinion? No. If you feel it in your gut. If you just know something is off. If your child isn’t hitting milestones. Not engaging. Losing words or don’t have any. If they don’t want to play or share joint attention. If their play or the things they want seem rigid or repetitive. If they stim..flap, rock, spin, etc. If they can’t seem to sit or stand still. If they are self…
Read More“Looks Like You Had A Great Time”
Today our family went for a boat ride. When we finally docked after being on the water for a few hours, a sweet older gentleman walked by, saw our three adorable kids and said…’looks like you had a great time?!’ Jamie and I both looked at him and said unanimously…’oh no! It was awful.’ But we said it with a smile and a laugh and the man couldn’t help but laugh with us. See, it was 57 degrees, windy, cloudy and cold. I had thought it would be a beautiful…
Read MoreBeautiful Butterfly
Dear Hunter, I know we’ve never met, but I read about your mama. I felt very sad inside, like something was spinning and turning. First thing I want to say is your mama, she loved you. That is the most important thing to keep in your mind and your heart during the hard days ahead. She fought for you, and learned from you. See, even though you are only six, you are a great teacher. Most people with autism are, you know. Six is a good age. Six is when…
Read MoreTo Any Special Needs Parent Who’s Having One Of Those Days
Dear Special Needs Parent, I know some days are tough. You are beaten down. Your child is having a meltdown. Your teenager is having challenges at school and your young adult is desperately trying to be placed in a job or find somewhere to live. No matter what the obstacle is, we’ve all been there, special need parent or not. We want to run away at times because we wonder to ourselves “Will it get better? CAN it get better?” Your son can’t be bathed because of the texture of…
Read MoreI Hope They’re Nice
I’m a fairly laid back mom. I roll with a situation because if there is one thing I’ve learned in my almost seven year parenting journey is that NOTHING will go as planned. If it does, I usually listen extra carefully because I’m sure the apocalypse or Jesus are coming. One thing that special needs parenting in particular has taught me is that you need to have a plan months in advanced and while making that plan you should probably make plans B-Z because there’s a chance that what ends…
Read MoreManaging My Fears and Worries
I believe in honesty, transparency, and reality. So, I would be lying if I said I wasn’t scared about providing lifelong care to my son. And there are times when that fear can consume me. It will eat me up at 3 am if I let it. But I’m working on it. I’m working on managing my fears and worries. And I’m working even harder on teaching my son all that I can to help him achieve his greatest level of independence. I push. I pull. I teach. I hope.…
Read MoreTo the Mama Whose Baby Isn’t Starting School Today
To the mama whose baby isn’t starting school today. To the parent who is wondering if they should take the picture. And wondering if they should celebrate just another day. To the dad whose sending some kids back to school but not the others. To the parent feeling a twinge of sadness today. Or a lot. I understand Your child doesn’t go to a typical school. They go to therapy. There are no grade levels. Just continuous time. Or maybe they do but they aren’t really in a grade. On…
Read MoreSix More Years
On this day, six years ago we were so confident in our adoption journey, we shared that we had been chosen. As I look at us and who we were, I see so much more than two rested soon to be parents. I remember the tears, the years and the struggle to become parents. I remember the decade of living with an empty crib as various agencies told us we were ready and waiting. The dreams of what it would be like. Mostly, I remember the joy that filled my…
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