Posts Tagged ‘Special Needs Parenting’
Why her? Why us?
We try not to have too many why her/why us moments as it is a slippery slope but sometimes it is hard not to. I just don’t get why this has happened. We did everything right. Why her? Why us? Evie is 2 years and 9 months old, currently non-verbal and being assessed for autism. We first thought that Evie may have developmental issues early on, around the 12-month mark, when she didn’t start talking, pointing, waving and all the other usual things on the autism “check list”. However, we…
Read MoreMy Hidden Grief
So, yesterday was a low point in the life of a mom. For those of you with typical kids, take pause, and stop for a minute to read this. I promise you, by the end of this, you will be more thankful for having healthy children. Let me first preface this by saying, I don’t journal. I don’t have a diary, and I don’t write about my journey everyday. I don’t blog, though, I have thought about it. This is my only outlet to let go and process when my…
Read MoreWhen the Milestone Emails are Wrong
When I was pregnant with my first son, I signed up for all the groups. The Bump. BabyCenter. What to Expect when you are Expecting. I wanted all the information I could get my hands on. I was so excited for his arrival. And I wanted to find moms like me that I could connect with. I also wanted to know when my little dude would reach his milestones. When would he roll over? When would he sit up? Crawl? Say his first word? Be potty trained? These websites were…
Read MoreA Mom to Two Only Children
I’m 7 months pregnant with my second child while sitting anxiously with my husband and 17 month old child in a waiting room of a speech and food therapist office. Every time the door opens to the waiting room I can feel my heart racing faster, and then Zachary’s name is finally called. An hour and a half later our very first evaluation is over. I’m left feeling more empty in my car then when I came into the office there. It’s hard to rationalize and almost defend your child…
Read MoreWhen Jealousy Surprises You
There are many topics in the world of special needs parenting that are taboo to talk about. Self Injurious Behaviors. Aggression. Puberty. Depression. Jealousy. As parents we don’t talk about them out of fear. Fear of being judged by people outside of our world. People that don’t understand. Or we worry that people will think badly of our children. Or our parenting skills. So, we stay quiet. I know this unique isolation all too well. Well, lately I’ve been feeling an emotion that I don’t feel very often. It’s even…
Read MoreFriend, Thank You for Helping Me
Dear Lindsay, Our friendship is officially old enough to have a drink this year. I wanted to take a few minutes to thank you for all that you’ve done for my family through the years and to tell you how much you truly mean to me. When I met you at Chuck E Cheese back when we were 16 I admired you so much. I never told you that before but I did. Me being a “rookie” was welcomed by you and the other girls. I thought you were all…
Read MoreA Different Kind of Tired
I don’t feel this way all the time. But some days I get in my feelings. I go to my dark place, and I vent to myself. Yes, to myself. We all do it. I let myself go here and then I pull it together. I gather myself, my feelings and keep moving forward. My moments go something like this… I’m tired of being tired! I am tired of feeling bad for being tired. Tired of the weight. Tired of scheduling everything. Tired of making decisions. Tired of not getting…
Read MoreSometimes it Really Hits Me
Autism has been a part of my life for 20 years. I have 2 sons with Autism. I feel like I know it well. I’m comfortable now. I’m in a groove. There were hard, hard days for many years. Sleepless nights (literally); stress, grief, and confusion as to how to navigate this new life. I remember one day in particular during Spring Break….my kids were home from school, and I was literally loosing my mind. My son was in rare form. I couldn’t leave him alone for 2 seconds. After…
Read MoreWho will Care for my Son after I’m Gone?
If you ask any special needs parent, they will tell you that their number one fear is worrying about who will care for their child after they are too old or die. It’s mine for sure. I have spent countless hours staring at my beautiful, innocent son and worrying. When I wipe his face. Or his bottom. When I wash his hair in the bathtub. When I walk him across the street or through a parking lot. I worry. He is 8. He needs constant supervision. He will most likely…
Read MoreOur World is Different
This morning you woke me up. The same way you do every single day. You come puttering in. Heavy feet. Full hands. Already giggling. You stand next to my face. You touch my cheek. Although you know that I am already awake. My mind and heart are so in tune to you Cooper that I swear I know the second you open your eyes. I joke that we are like an old married couple. You put my glasses on my face. And put my phone in my hand. And you…
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