Posts Tagged ‘special needs family’
The Beauty of Learning About Differences
As a mother to an autistic boy, I find myself trying to educate often. Kids. Teens. Unknowing adults. People who stare. People with kind eyes and people who are afraid of differences. I encourage questions even. Why does he flap his arms? Why does he roll on the ground? Why doesn’t he talk? Will he live with you forever? Some of the questions are easy to answer. Some are harder. And honestly, some I do not know the answers too. I may never. The visible differences used to make me…
Read MoreThe Biggest Gift
At the park last night, one of these boys played with boys his own age. He went up the slide and scaled the jungle gym like an acrobat. One of these boys chased after the older boys. They tickled him and he loved the attention. He went down the slide a hundred times and said…’mommy watch this!’ The other boy felt the mulch with his fingers, went down the slide twice because his mom asked him too, and spent the majority of his time tapping the metal garbage can and…
Read MoreThis is Why We Celebrate Everything
The email I just received said ‘I wish I had video of Cooper walking into school today. No one walked past him without him reaching out and then tapping his head to show off his new haircut. He was very proud!’ Last night Cooper had his hair cut. In our home. By a family friend. It was his best haircut ever. He sat the whole time and watched his iPad. We counted during the hard parts. Chatted about his rewards for being so amazing. Held hands. Took lots of deep…
Read MoreSeeing Autism Through Your Eyes
I don’t think about autism really. Not anymore. Or about my son being different than his peers. He doesn’t have a label at home. Or even a diagnosis. We don’t speak in clinical talk or point out how he is different from other 10 year old boys. He is Cooper. He is not autistic Cooper. He is not nonverbal Cooper. He is himself. Perfectly made and one of my three boys. I think that’s the beautiful part that comes with settling into a lifelong diagnosis. In the beginning, the differences…
Read MoreThe Gift of Sight
When I used to think about autism, back when the word meant nothing to us, and eventually when our son was first diagnosed, I used to think about the differences. Autism meant he would be different. And that made me so scared for him. Because I knew the world could be unkind. I would hyper focus at 3 am or while in the shower on all the ‘nevers.’ The differences. The worries that would drop me to my knees. He may never talk. He may never ride a bike. He…
Read MoreKeep Working on Independence
See that little one there? The one with chocolate on his face and holding two nerf guns? He is 2 years old and came out of the womb independent. His favorite thing to say is…‘I do it mama. I do it.’ He needs help from no one. My now 8 year old was the same way. Cooper, who was diagnosed with autism at age 3, was always the opposite. He’s never, to this day, had any desire to ‘do it himself.’ He’s very happy and content having mom and dad…
Read MoreSweet Signs
A few minutes ago, Sawyer handed Cooper something and Cooper immediately signed ‘thank you’ to him. Sawyer responded with…’you’re welcome buddy.’ It was such a sweet exchange. When Cooper was a toddler, and we realized his speech was not developing, we focused on sign language. He picked up on some. ‘No, more, help, all done, please, and thank you.’ But he plateaued after those. He had no interest in learning any other ones. I think it’s because us hands wouldn’t cooperate. Sign language takes fine motor skills that he didn’t…
Read MoreOur Sibling Journey Looks Different Than Theirs
My oldest daughter had a close friend growing up who’s mom was pregnant at the same time as me. The girls were around 11 at the time and both were excited to be getting baby sisters. After we each gave birth, about a month apart, we would compare how the babies were growing whenever we saw each other. I remember my daughter was much smaller than her daughter. As the months passed, her daughter crawled and then walked and formed words while mine didn’t. Mine drooled. A lot. Mine gained…
Read MoreA Love Note to My Wife
Autism is hard! Hard for the diagnosed individual, the siblings, the family and on a marriage. When we said “I do” we never expected to embark on an autism journey and we definitely didn’t envision the vows “in sickness and in health” would apply to our unborn child. Autism has challenged our marriage in ways we could never imagine and it has enriched our marriage in ways nothing else could. I could share some of the many autism moments, experiences, pitfalls, disappointments, lessons, achievements, challenges, and wins that got us…
Read MoreThe Playground can be Isolating for a Special Needs Parent
If you live in a city apartment and don’t have your own backyard, the playground is THE place for kids to burn some energy and let off steam. Every other day we pack cookies, water, and a soccer ball and head to my most feared opponent. The park is packed with laughing children. Parents stand in groups and exchange the latest neighborhood gossip. Some have made themselves comfortable on carefully arranged picnic blankets, setting up a snack buffet that could feed half of the city. Others sit in the sand…
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