Posts Tagged ‘special needs family’
Everything I Wish I Could Say…
As autism awareness month continues, I’m flooded with so many thoughts and emotions. Our son was diagnosed almost three years ago and this journey has been life changing. I love my beautiful son Maddux. He is the center of our world. But, I hate autism a lot of days and what it steals from our family. I grieve the life our son would be living when I see other young boys his age. It kills me inside and is something I will always struggle with. Most days I’m brave and…
Read MoreThe Vital Parts of Autism Awareness Month
I often wonder how many people actually care about these awareness campaigns. I don’t mean that pessimistically. There are many wonderful people that try to educate others on many topics. However, as realists, most people don’t care unless they are somehow connected to the illness or disability, and there are so many of them. October is breast cancer awareness month. February is wear red for heart disease in women. June is Alzheimer’s and Brain Awareness Month. Literally, every time I’m driving I see a bumper sticker for some kind of…
Read MoreAutism is Not My Friend Today
Truthfully, autism is never my friend, but today was one of those days where I wanted to punch autism in the face. Triggers have always been a part of our autism world. As much as we try to avoid them, they rear their ugly little heads often, and all too often when we least expect it. Our eleven-year-old daughter Lilly was diagnosed just before she turned three, and over the last eleven years, we have seen triggers come and go. Most of her early triggers stemmed from her OCD. She…
Read MoreTo my Son, A Brother Who Simply Loves
To my son, I knew at a very young age I wanted to be a mother. I had to wait a long time for you to come but when you did I was so happy. You were so beautiful and I was finally a mother! I loved our perfect little family and loved watching you grow and become the person you are today. When I was ready to give you a little brother or a little sister I could picture our family doing many things and couldn’t wait for you…
Read MoreThought battle – Winning Smile
Its been a long time since I wrote. Something happened yesterday that I wanted to bring back to my thinking pad. This has been a place of thinking and talking whenever I have an ‘aha’ moment or whenever I have to work through something. For the first time, we let our son V participate in choir. He loves music, listens to something all the time, Alexa is his new best friend, and he also has a decent voice. Choir had around 70 kids and we were doubtful but the program director agreed…
Read MoreEven Now, It’s Not Going Away
Last week, my son Noah slightly hit himself in the face, and his head out of frustration. And do you like how I say slightly? I have to down play it, because that has never happened before…and I can’t believe it nor can I stop thinking about it. Because my kid’s not supposed to do that. He’s supposed to be high functioning? Not that the label really matters. But I’m expecting the words to come, and the communication to start flowing, and even his interests to change. But what if…
Read MoreSuddenly, We Hoped for a Diagnosis of Down Syndrome
Life can throw you curveballs. Things can change in an instant and take your life in a direction that you never expected. My second pregnancy was riddled with endless nausea. Life was hectic, and there wasn’t time to stop – I worked full time (I managed to drive to work while vomiting in a plastic bag), and had an energetic one-year old. My belly was much larger this time around also. At my 34th week OB visit, the doc mentioned I was measuring as if I were two weeks overdue,…
Read MoreSuperman isn’t Autism…and Autism isn’t Superman
Superman is Superman. He is one of the happiest little boys that I have ever seen in my life. He is also my son. Before Autism, he was my son, after Autism, he is still my son. There is a never ending debate about curing and symptoms and gluten and all of the other crazy stuff that gets wrapped in with an autism diagnosis. Of course we have IEPs and we do whatever the hell we have to in order to make his life easier. But…that’s us, that’s me and…
Read MoreA Letter to My Daughter, My Son’s Biggest Fan
Today was, as you call it, a “Mommy Day.” I don’t work on Mondays, so we played and snuggled and went to music class and ate lunch at Panera. Then, we picked up “Col Col” from preschool. You burst into the classroom, thrilled to see your big brother, and he proudly announced “This is my friend, Grace!” You two giggled and ran around, and didn’t listen to Mommy, and giggled some more. I love seeing you two together (even when you’re being a little naughty) because I didn’t know if…
Read MoreComing Face to Face with Normal
A few weeks ago I found myself at an event with lots of adults and kids. But not just any kids. Seven year old kids. Specifically, seven year old boys. Boys that are the exact same age as my son. My son’s peers. I should have felt right at home. I am a mom. I know boys. My son is seven. Except, I felt like these boys and their moms were speaking another language. I don’t know anything about seven year old boys. Not really. My son may be seven.…
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