Posts Tagged ‘severe autism’
Will My Autistic Son Understand When I am Gone?
I went to a funeral yesterday. It seems as I get older, and my family gets older, I am attending more and more funerals. I guess that’s the nature of growing older. Thankfully, if there can be a thankfully, they are funerals for beautiful souls that have lived long, wonderful lives. So, more of a celebration of life I guess. My Son As I sat there yesterday, I looked around and saw many faces I knew and many I didn’t. Ages ranged from babies to nineties. I found myself staring…
Read MoreRealizing How it Should Be…
I had one of those ‘this is how it should be’ parenting moments this morning. I was able to bring my four-year-old to preschool today. We weren’t in a hurry and chatted as we drove. When we arrived, we walked in together. He took off his boots, hung up his bag and jacket and went and sat down and played. I spoke with his teacher, looked at his artwork and so on. And then I left. Sounds so simple, right? I’ve never had an experience like that with my autistic…
Read MoreThe Scary Reality of Forever as a Special Needs Parent
The idea of forever is very different when you have a child with special needs. Will my child ever living on their own? Will they have self care? There are times when I will look at my son and think, ‘this might be okay.’ He might learn to understand safety. He might learn to communicate his wants and needs. He might, maybe someday, be able to stay home alone. But in all honesty, the future is unknown. I don’t know if these things will ever happen. And as parents we…
Read MoreA Look at Nonverbal, Severe Autism
When my peanut was diagnosed with autism I was so scared. Hell, at times I still am. But most of the time, this is what nonverbal, severe autism looks like for us. Funny, silly, adorable, snuggly, loud and oh, so cute. This is my Cooper. He’s pretty much the best thing ever. And this mama knows to not take one second for granted. We’ve worked for this. Every sound. Every touch. Every look. Sitting. Communicating. Loving. Hoping. Don’t give up my friends. Keep going. If your child is newly diagnosed,…
Read MoreI Often Wonder if My Son Is Lonely
Good morning! We are having a much needed snow day in Minnesota. It’s nice to slow down once in a while. I haven’t had a relaxing morning with Cooper in months. It has been pretty busy around here lately. We are the early risers while Sawyer and dad sleep. We sit together. I watch the news and drink coffee. Cooper gathers his favorite things and a blanket. This mornings favorites include a picture of Dad, a coaster, Thomas DVD case, Thomas picture, a yellow magnetic block (so good for visually…
Read MoreIdentifying Pain in Nonverbal Children on the Spectrum
I have a Super Cooper update. He’s been ‘off’ for a few days. Protesting school, quick to meltdown, not communicating. When this happens with my nonverbal child I know something is probably wrong. As Cooper’s mom, I’ve learned that when behaviors change in a child on the spectrum, finding the reasons why can feel like trying to find a needle in a haystack. They can’t verbally tell you something hurts or feels weird. Nor can they always process it. In my son’s case, he shows us pain with increased or…
Read More13 Steps to Better Self Care
Self Care. Those two dreaded words. As a special needs mama, self care is the first thing to go when I feel sad. My son doesn’t talk. He doesn’t go to school. He doesn’t play. He doesn’t interact with children. He doesn’t play a sport or ride a bike. He doesn’t read. He doesn’t write. We rarely leave our house. We more so just live in his autistic world. And with that life comes a cycle of grief. The not knowing is hard. The knowing is hard. The accepting is…
Read MoreStop Acting Like Autism is a Death Sentence
I’ve been writing publicly about autism for five years now. Meaning, I’ve opened myself up to the world to educate and share our journey. And with that level of vulnerability comes support and scrutiny. At this point, there isn’t much that I haven’t heard. My son has been called ugly. I’ve been called fat. I’ve been told I should’ve aborted Cooper. He’s been called a retard. Dumb. Ugly. A mistake. A freak. He’s had death threats. Hell, so have I. I’ve been told that Cooper and I are stealing Medicaid…
Read MoreLet’s Talk Compression Clothing and Autism
Often, children with autism will be recommended to use a weighted vest. My son Cooper is a sensory seeker and highly behavioral. Every therapist we’ve ever worked with has recommended we try to get him to wear some type of compression clothing. Some common reasons a teacher or therapist may recommend a weighted vest: To improve a child’s focus so they can pay attention to academic work in the classroom. To provide deep pressure stimulation that has a calming effect. To help decrease stereotypical behaviors. Increase Attention to Academic Work We…
Read MoreA Time Before Autism
I had a rare hour of silence from autism today and I let myself get lost in old photographs. Oh, the cuteness of Cooper. He’s always been beautiful. Right from day one. So beautiful in fact that many people struggled to believe something was wrong. As I scrolled back through the years I felt so many emotions. Before Sawyer. Before the therapies. Before the diagnosis. Before we knew. Cooper’s beautiful smile in every picture. As the photos got older I started to recognize myself. There I was. Smiling holding Cooper.…
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