Cooper is Eight

Eight years ago my world was turned upside down with the arrival of my first born son. My Super Cooper. The one who made me a mom. As I sat down to type this post I let myself think back over the last eight years. And I thought about all of the words I could type. The stories I could share. The highs and the lows. The amazing joy he has brought me. And of course autism. I’m struggling finding the words right now. Birthdays are hard. They are a…

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I’m So Sorry

I was in denial in the beginning of my autism journey. Not my son. He’s fine. My wife Kristen knew something was off though. As time went on my denial became a hard reality. Our son Cameron was diagnosed with Autism at two years old. He is nonverbal. It was a tough pill to swallow. All my life I felt as if I was destined to be a dad. There was something underlying involved. The idea followed me throughout my life. The reason was because god equipped me with everything I…

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Once Again, I Go Numb

A few days ago I received some validation. Validation I didn’t want to receive. And as I processed it, I realized how numb I must really be to all the emotions that go into special needs parenting. Every time I chat with a 7 year old boy or listen to a 2 year old speak in full sentences. Or watch my 5 year old growing up, achieving every milestone and becoming more independent. Or when my autistic son yells at me and melts down repeatedly. I must be numb. And…

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We’d Become What I Was Most Afraid Of….

When my son was diagnosed with autism over four years ago, I remember not being able to picture him as a teen. And not one person in my life, not doctors, not therapists, could tell me what the future held. The unknown is very, very hard. I think it’s harder than knowing. I so badly needed a glimpse of the future. I needed to know what nonverbal looked like at age 15. Or 20. But I was scared too. I am big enough to admit that I wasn’t ready to…

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I’m Thankful for You: My Son’s ASL Tutor

“Heather, if sign language isn’t working for Milo, I don’t care. I’ll teach him something else. I just want him to learn how to communicate.” I looked at my son’s sign language tutor, Hannah, whose eyes were glistening with tears as we watched my six-year-old nonverbal son press his stomach onto the swing in our living room. Anyone who knows Hannah knows her passion for sign language. We’d hired her to teach our nonverbal autistic son how to sign, but he wasn’t getting it. He was defaulting to signing “more”…

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Controlling the Hoarding

A few days ago, Jamie and I spent the day, 10 hours to be exact, going through our son’s hoarding piles. We were absolutely shocked by the amount of stuff we found. Honestly, we had no idea it had gotten so out of control. We found piles under every bed, in every closet, under dressers, couches, bookshelves, entertainment centers and even the fridge. Almost every item was damaged and couldn’t be salvaged. By the time we were done we had thrown four garbage bags. In this video I touch on…

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Autism and Showing Affection

Super Cooper just kissed his baby brother. He smiled at me, walked up to him, touched his head and then kissed him. I almost fell out of my chair. I took this video a second later when I asked him to do it again. Showing affection to anyone besides me has never came easy for Cooper. It’s not natural for him. He doesn’t willingly give hugs or kisses. Or ask for snuggles. So this pretty much made my whole entire year. He never ceases to amaze me. I’ve never seen…

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Evolving as a Special Needs Parent

When my son was first diagnosed with autism I struggled to even say it out loud. I felt awful saying the words, ‘my son has autism.’ When I said them, I felt like I was betraying him. Or making it real. Then, once I was ready to talk about it, I quite literally had no one to talk with. None of the other parents in my group had autistic children. They would be talking about sports and education while my life was therapy, doctors and sleep deprivation. I realized quickly…

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Cooper’s Eighth Birthday Party

I know so many of you are wondering how Cooper’s birthday party went. Well, honestly, it went fantastic. And I was nervous. Heck, I’m always nervous. Prior to this year Cooper has never cared about birthdays. The song scared him to death. Presents didn’t make sense. He didn’t care about friends or family really. He hated crowds and expectations. So around age four we stopped having them. We would celebrate the day with just our family. And that was fine. But this year was different. With the help of ABA…

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Christmas Tree Decorating Done Right

We decorated the Christmas tree today! Super Cooper couldn’t have been more excited. His anxiety about the day started early but we were able to talk through it without any issues. We visited the tree farm, he helped pick out the tree and we loaded it up in the truck…in under 6 minutes. No lie. The people selling the trees laughed at how fast we were. Let’s just say our family knows how to do things quickly. Once home we realized the trunk was too big for the tree stand.…

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