Posts Tagged ‘nonverbal autism’
What is Our Relationship Like…
When my son was five or six, I finally accepted that he ‘may’ be nonverbal forever. It wasn’t easy. And it almost depleted me. I grieved the words I may never hear. All the mamas, I love you’s, and endless questions. Around that time I started wondering what our relationship would evolve into without words. Would we have conversations? Would it be quiet? Would I be lonely? Would I spend endless hours wondering what he was thinking or needing? Well, the answer is no. Cooper and I ‘talk’ all day…
Read MoreMommy Guilt
Mommy guilt is real. It’s powerful and it can crumble the strongest of women. It is painful, shaming, blaming, isolating, gut wrenching and all together time consuming. If you let it, IT WILL DESTROY YOU. How do I know this? Because it almost happened to me. The guilt I felt had such a strong hold that I was numb. For the first time in my life I felt nothing, I heard nothing, saw nothing and was NOT okay. My family was afraid to leave me alone and in all honest,…
Read MoreThe Hardest Day is Tomorrow
My name is Stacy, and I’m a married stay at home mom with four kids. My nine year old son Mason is neurotypical, which is the politically correct way of saying he’s “normal” or NOT autistic. My 7 year old daughter Elliott was recently diagnosed with Tourette Syndrome, which was enough to make me want to check myself in to the loony bin. Like seriously, I’m waving the white flag and really need to NOT have any more diagnoses handed down for a while. But that’s a different story for…
Read MoreThe Different Stages of Accepting Autism
I had no idea that there would be so many different stages surrounding my son’s autism. For example I thought getting the diagnosis would be the hardest part. I really did. I thought going through the pain of realizing something was wrong, making the phone call for the appointment, bringing my baby to be evaluated and hearing the words, ‘yes he is autistic,’ would be the hardest parts we would ever have to go through. We would get help and it would be fine. I was wrong. There are so…
Read MoreYou Can’t Let Cooper Win
This weekend I shared a photo of Cooper resting after a pretty brutal anxiety attack. You can read about it HERE. I wrote about how our family is at a unique crossroads. We need to figure out how to manage his anxiety, give our other children a normal life and keep our sanity. i said anxiety won. And someone responded with…’you can’t let Cooper win.’ Like he was deliberately sabotaging our family outing. I just shook my head when I read that. Cooper isn’t winning. No one is. We are…
Read MoreAutism and Christmas (VIDEO)
For the first six years of my son’s life he didn’t care at all about Christmas. He didn’t care about the presents, or the tree, or Santa. He didn’t care about celebrating with our family, or traditions, or preparing for the holiday. It was so hard on our family. And as he got older, it got harder. There was no making a Christmas list, attending church, baking cookies, visiting Santa or even going to dinner at Grandma’s house. Not only did he not understand, he detested opening gifts, the music,…
Read MoreThank you Grandma, Love Your Nonverbal Grandson
Dear Grandma, Grandma! Grandma! Grandma! I know that’s what you so badly want to hear me say. I want to say it too! Thank you for waiting patiently to hear it. Just know when I grab your hand and pull you to the couch that is my way of calling your name. Thank you grandma for waiting for me to get off the bus from school everyday. I know somedays I’m so tired after school and I’m not always easy to handle. But you still greet me with the biggest…
Read MoreAt the Crossroads of Anxiety and Acceptance
Today, our son’s anxiety won. I say that because his anxiety is like it’s own force. It’s a thing. It’s always present. Always lurking under the surface. It always wins. It shuts him down and takes over. We were supposed to take our family to a hotel to celebrate Christmas with our extended family. We made the huge, ginormous mistake of telling Cooper three days before. We needed him to try a swimsuit on to make sure it would fit. We messed up. Not him. He couldn’t handle the anticipation.…
Read MoreToday His Anxiety Is…
My son has anxiety. Real, serious, debilitating anxiety. Before Cooper, I didn’t know that an eight year old could have anxiety. I didn’t think they had anything to worry about. I mean…he’s fed. He’s happy, loved, clean, cared for, safe. He lacks or needs for nothing. And yet, on days like today, he can’t function. He can’t hold it together. He can’t turn the page. He can’t build a bridge. He can’t move on. He can’t think about anything else. It’s like a video in his brain is paused. A…
Read MoreWould I Recommend Medical Cannabis for Autism?
I promised I would give updates on our journey with medical cannabis for our severely autistic son. Cooper has been using it for almost four months now. And daily, I receive the same three questions from family and followers: 1.) Is the medical cannabis working? 2.) Would I recommend it to other children? 3.) Have I seen any negative side effects? My answers are pretty long winded and I cover them in the video below. But to summarize, yes, medical cannabis is ‘working’ for my son. I have seen huge…
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