Cooper’s Eighth Birthday Party

I know so many of you are wondering how Cooper’s birthday party went.

Well, honestly, it went fantastic. And I was nervous. Heck, I’m always nervous.

Prior to this year Cooper has never cared about birthdays. The song scared him to death. Presents didn’t make sense. He didn’t care about friends or family really. He hated crowds and expectations. So around age four we stopped having them. We would celebrate the day with just our family. And that was fine.

But this year was different. With the help of ABA Therapy, his communication device, and Medical Cannabis, we’ve seen so many positive changes in Cooper. Huge ones.

And this year, for the first time ever, he asked us for a party. He has been asking me daily for months actually. He wanted a party with presents, balloons, cake, decorations and his grandparents. Which is awesome.

But I know as his mama that his anxiety often gets the best of him. It makes some of his happiest days his hardest.

I knew that if I didn’t plan it just perfectly, it would be awful for him.

This year, I threw the party Cooper wanted. A party just for him.

Knowing that he really struggles with crowds, sound, lines, chaos, etc., I chose a venue that was a private rental. It was one big room with a large Jungle Gym and a Bounce House. Two of Coop’s favorite things. I knew this would be the best space for Cooper.

He could move freely around. He could walk the perimeter and get comfortable with his surroundings. He didn’t need to be followed. He could be independent.

But most importantly, he could be himself.

As for guests, I invited the grandparents and Cooper’s aunts and uncles as well as my two best friends and their kids and a bunch of awesome people we’ve met along the way. It was the perfect group.

Cooper greeted each of his guests with a smile and wave before moving on. I don’t think he really ever stopped running. He bounced, slid, rolled and got all of the sensory input he wanted.

Also in true Cooper fashion he opened some of the front desk’s mail and went through their magazine pile.

He ate pizza.

He enjoyed himself.

As for the birthday stuff…here is the message I sent to our guests beforehand:

A little bit about the party:
The Giggle Factory has a large play structure and bounce house. In hopes of minimizing Cooper’s stress we have rented the whole area just for our family. The doors are also locked to keep all of our little friends safe.

When it was time I asked Cooper if he wanted us to sing Happy Birthday to him. Let me tell you that my kid loves that song. We hear it daily in our house. And like many other things that Cooper loves…the song causes him anxiety.

But he gave me a resounding YES.

So, we sang and let him move around as we sang. We didn’t force him to sit near his cake.

Sawyer was all too happy to blow out the candles for his big brother.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

Coop’s loves the birthday song more than anything. So much we listen to it daily around here. But like many other things he loves, the song causes him anxiety. Knowing this I asked him if he wanted us to sing. He gave me a loud YES. #happybirthday #autism

A post shared by Kate (@findingcoopersvoice) on Nov 27, 2018 at 9:40am PST

What stuck out the most for me was how Cooper opened his presents. Every single one of them. He kept motioning for me to open them for him…which I politely declined. I knew he could do it.

He looked at each item and didn’t lose interest.

His favorites were two train magazines and Thomas books.

He opened up all of his gifts and squealed in delight at every train that he saw. Every gift is so special to him. My kid knows no greed. It’s pretty amazing if you ask me.

As a mom, I am so glad that the act of opening up gifts made him happy this year. It sounds so simple. But it’s huge to me.

The party lasted exactly two hours. Which was the perfect amount of time. Any longer and Cooper wouldn’t have lasted.

Want to know what I remember the most? Cooper sitting at the end of the party.

Transitions are really, really hard for Cooper. To and from places, cleaning up, preparing to leave are all really hard for him. They make him so anxious.

Well, I made it super clear that I had to clean up and pay for the party. Cooper sat in a chair and waited for close to ten minutes. I’ve never seen him do that before.

He’s growing up.

Lastly, I am so thankful for all of the wonderful people in our lives. Cooper is absolutely loved by so many people. And that means more to me than I could ever put into words. It takes a village and ours is amazing.

Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook and subscribe to our newsletter.