Posts Tagged ‘mother and daughter’
Some Christmas Miracles Come with Paws, and Ours Is Named Bingo
The holidays are always tricky for our family, just like they are for so many families with special-needs children. Our daughter is seven, but a simple Amazon search for “gifts for 7-year-old girls” doesn’t capture what she’ll actually love. If a toy isn’t tied to her current interest, it’s set aside within seconds. And when all her favorite shows seem to be from before 2015, gift hunting feels more like a treasure quest than a holiday tradition. This year, though, we’re preparing for something different. The greatest gift we could…
Read MoreWhen Christmas Isn’t Magical Yet: Hope for Parents Raising Disabled Children
To the parents raising disabled children who feel the weight of the holidays creeping in because Christmas isn’t magical yet… hold on. The holidays bring big feelings when your disabled child isn’t ready for the wonder. Some children find the magic late, but it’s no less perfect when it comes. Sometimes, it’s even more. There was a time when Christmas passed us by almost unnoticed. She didn’t care for the tree or the music, didn’t light up at the sight of wrapping paper or twinkling lights. And that silence… it…
Read MoreAm I enough?
I wake her every morning to begin a brand new day. I sit beside her, asking questions, slowing her steps, listening to her read, guiding her through mistakes, celebrating every victory. I nudge her past her comfort zone, toward chores, and cooking, and cleaning. I set alarms, build routines, help her move from one moment to the next. I give her her meds, teach her how to care for herself, walk the thin line between her independence and the dangers she cannot see. I place her sensory tools close, soft…
Read MoreAutism Progress: A Little Independence, A Lot of Hope
Sometimes progress shows up in the smallest, quietest moments. It doesn’t always look like milestones or big announcements. It looks like midnight snacks and Ritz crackers. I heard her in the kitchen last night and assumed she was getting herself Goldfish. To my surprise and delight, when I walked into the kitchen, she was getting herself some Ritz cheese and crackers (she only eats the cheese inside, like an Oreo). She had gotten her own bowl and plate, and a spoon for her yogurt. To most people, this is not…
Read MoreHomeschooling by Default: When Autism Programs Shut the Door
Here we are at the start of another school year. My daughter is sixteen years old and should be beginning her junior year of high school. Instead, she’s at home with me. For now, I’ll be the one working on her IEP goals. Her school district is a mess, and the special education program is the biggest part of the disaster. Before anyone chimes in to remind me that our state has school choice—yes, I know. I’ve looked into it. But many of the schools that advertise themselves as being…
Read MoreAutism At 15: Every Little Thing Is Everything
Lately, my autistic daughter, Kya, has had a growth of independence, and if I’m being honest, I wasn’t ready for it. Not even close. But it’s something remarkable to witness. It catches me off guard in the most ordinary moments, the ones that don’t seem like much to anyone else, but to me, they’re everything. She closes the bathroom door now. It doesn’t seem like a big deal, almost forgettable, but it’s not. It’s huge. It’s privacy. It’s autonomy. She closes her bedroom door and puts herself to bed. At…
Read MoreAutism Was the Word—Love Was the Answer
Autism Awareness Month has come to an end. I, however, am aware of autism every day, every week, every month of the year. It rustles up a lot of opinions, especially this year. Everyone who has autism in their life, and especially those who have a child diagnosed, has the right to their own thoughts, feelings, and beliefs. These thoughts will change over time and certainly change with your child. For some of us, the prognosis is dire. It’s not your child may be a little quirky, or have some…
Read MoreNavigating ‘Time For’ as a Autism Parent
My youngest daughter is 16 years old and a sophomore in high school. She is autistic and is also diagnosed with sensory processing disorder and anxiety. I keep getting all the exciting emails from my daughter’s high school that it’s “time for”: Time for your student to pick classes for next year. Time for spring sports tryouts, come be a part of the team. Time for prom season, tickets go on sale soon… Did you get your tux or dress? Time for your student to get a summer job. Parks…
Read MoreSmall Wins, Big Impact: How My Autistic Child Conquered a Grocery Trip
Prior to having a child on the autism spectrum, I never noticed how loud the outside world was. The sound of a cart in the grocery store, the cash register dinging, or the music playing as you walk down the aisles. It all blended into the background. The truth is, I never even noticed the music before my daughter. I never noticed how bright the lights were. I never noticed how loud the automatic doors were. For many years, we couldn’t go to unfamiliar places or through unfamiliar doors. She…
Read MoreHow to Advocate for Your Child: A Parent’s Letter to the IEP Team
It is time to prepare for my daughter Olivia’s annual IEP meeting. I need to go over all of her goal updates and the data taken so we can move forward in the best way for her individual needs. Here is a letter I wrote that conveys all the things about Olivia to her team. To the education staff working with my child, Olivia is a very complex person. She was diagnosed with autism and sensory processing disorder. She also has anxiety and will become obsessive-compulsive in certain situations. I…
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