Posts Tagged ‘Minnesota’
Conveying Love Nonverbally
Since Cooper was a baby, he has always touched my face. He will do it to get my attention or to show me something that’s important to him. He will do it when he’s excited, when he is sad or happy. It’s his way of communicating. He does it even before vocalizing. He always has. It’s our thing. This is how he shows me love. He will run up to me, motion for me to bend over, and palm my cheek with his hand. Sometimes, it is just for a…
Read MoreWhat Do I Pray For?
When you get to a page this size, I’ve learned that a lot of people speak for me. Which comes with the territory I guess. And honestly, there is nothing I can really do about it nor do I actually care. But I always shake my head when a few of my ‘beliefs’ are spewed back at me. The curing or fixing autism is the one I shake my head at the most. You won’t hear me talk about it. You won’t read my words about it. I consciously choose…
Read MoreWould I Skip the Hard Chapters?
This morning Jamie, Sawyer and I went to church to celebrate Easter. Typically, it’s just Sawyer and I because someone has to stay home with Cooper. But since it’s a special day, I wanted Jamie to join us. As usual I felt the sting of leaving Cooper behind with his aunt as we left for church. Today, he even halfheartedly grabbed his shoes to come with us. What I wouldn’t give to do something as a family of four. Just once. I’m pretty sure that most people think we only…
Read MoreThis Is Our Autism Too
A video has been showing up in my news feed lately. It was produced by a group called Born Different. As I scrolled the video began to auto play. The caption caught my eye. ‘These twins with severe autism were forced to stay in a prison-like home surrounded by chicken wire fence. Rather than give up, their parents persevered to improve their behavior.’ I paused for a moment. A video about severe autism. A video about my world. A video that shows behaviors and our realities. The realities I lovingly…
Read MoreFirst Kisses from My Autistic Son
For years I longed for kisses and hugs from my autistic son. But, it never came. He’d gladly receive affection and even ate it up and yes, I was thankful for that. But before autism I just assumed affection came naturally. I had no idea that teaching a child to ‘give’ affection could be a challenge. Or even a skill that needed to be taught. On top of not willingly showing affection, Cooper simply didn’t know how to actually kiss or hug. Due to his Apraxia, his lips are unable…
Read MoreDreams of my Autistic Nonverbal Son Speaking
Last night, I had a dream that my nonverbal son had a conversation with me. We were walking along a path, holding hands, laughing and smiling. He was pointing things out to me. For some reason it was really beautiful. The sky was colorful. The trees and grass were so bright and vivid. I remember noticing how calm we were. How he wasn’t flapping or running or screaming. I could hear mumbling but in my mind I knew that it couldn’t be Cooper speaking. My autistic son doesn’t speak. Then…
Read MoreIs God Still Building Cooper’s Voice?
My most favorite thing is having conversations with Sawyer. And typically, the best ones happen while I’m driving. Yesterday, on our way to a birthday party, he asked me if he will ever get to ride a dinosaur and who decides where the roads start and stop. He asked me if we were rich. When I told him no he asked me if he could get a job. He told me a fascinating story about how his dad ran out of gas and had to walk to the gas station…
Read MoreMy Son, You are Home to Me
I know you are home Cooper. Because you are always home. If you aren’t at school, you are here. You like being here. Home is your whole entire world. You don’t have play dates. You don’t have sports. There is no one picking you up to take you somewhere special. It doesn’t work like that in our world. Although I can name quite a few people that would literally drop everything to take you somewhere if you ever asked. You are comfortable here. You are safe here. There are no…
Read MoreMedical ID Bracelet Giveaway!
As a mom to a little boy with nonverbal autism, I worry about so many things. A big one is…will he be able to communicate when I am not around? Right now, today, the answer is no. Even with his communication device, Cooper still can’t respond to simple questions. What is you name? Are you lost? Do you need help? And say he did have his communication device with him. What if the battery died. What if it malfunctioned. We just can’t trust that right now. All of this scares…
Read MoreSuddenly, We Hoped for a Diagnosis of Down Syndrome
Life can throw you curveballs. Things can change in an instant and take your life in a direction that you never expected. My second pregnancy was riddled with endless nausea. Life was hectic, and there wasn’t time to stop – I worked full time (I managed to drive to work while vomiting in a plastic bag), and had an energetic one-year old. My belly was much larger this time around also. At my 34th week OB visit, the doc mentioned I was measuring as if I were two weeks overdue,…
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