Posts Tagged ‘family’
I’m Thankful For Our Therapists
We’ve been doing therapy since my son Nicholas was 6 months old. He was behind from the very beginning, and wasn’t hitting his milestones at all. He was oversensitive to everything, would arch his back a lot, and needed help with most things. It was recommended by his pediatrician that he start seeing an occupational therapist (OT). Those were some hard therapy days. Nicholas was uncomfortable and cried a lot. We worked on tummy time, sitting, feeding, and fine motor skills with little success. Because of his sensitivity his OT…
Read MoreThe Things We’re Not Supposed to Say
The things we’re not supposed to say. I brought my son Sawyer to skate night tonight. A school event at a local roller skating rink. There was pizza and music and arcade games. Kindergarten through fifth grade. Families. Siblings. So many kids. I laced up his roller blades and watched him be a little boy. Skating way too fast. Being silly. Telling stories. Playfully pushing friends. Dancing. Doing the limbo. He has a social life. Friends. He’s growing up. As I sat there watching, holding my baby tight, I was…
Read MoreThings The Stress My Husband Out As A Parent:
Things that stress my husband out as a parent: 1. Cheeto hands touching the walls and furniture. 2. Slime. 3. Candy wrappers on the floor, couch, table. 4. Screaming and crying in the car. 5. Kids messing around in the garage near the vehicles. Especially on bikes. 6. Hockey sticks, bats, swords in the house. 7. Crumpled up socks tossed on the floor. 8. Messy vehicles. Especially mine. 9. When his tools aren’t put back and when he can’t find a tool (or really anything) in general. 10. When fruit…
Read MoreSoon, You’ll Get Better
“It will get better.” Words I hear on a daily basis. From loved ones. From other Autism parents. Ones that have more years in this journey than I do. The ones I call veterans. Better? What does that even mean? I think “better” means something different for everyone. I used to think that about my Dad. I’d convince myself that his Cancer wasn’t that bad. For five years he fought a war he really couldn’t win. In the end Cancer took everything…including his life. But for five years..especially the last…
Read MoreThe Baby Who Put Us Back Together
Our family had the best day celebrating Harbor’s first birthday. As I watched him devour his cake I thought back to a year ago. I was so scared. So nervous. A baby. A third boy. How would we ever have enough time and energy for another one. And what if. Oh, the what if’s. The elephant in the room always autism. What if Cooper was aggressive? What if he got worse? What if he couldn’t handle the crying? We actually had contingency plans. Scenarios. Plans. We’d have to put a…
Read MoreA Letter to my Autistic Husband
Dear David, I’m writing this letter to you in a public forum for two reasons. First, I want to shout from the rooftops just how amazing, wonderful, loving, kind and funny a husband I have. Second, because some people have a very narrow view of what autism is, and I’d like to correct a few misconceptions. You came into my life 18 years ago and immediately won my heart by making me laugh so hard I nearly fell out of my chair! I knew you were different from the first…
Read MoreThe Role of a Big Brother
I know being his big brother is different than you imagined… You were 4 when I was pregnant with our rainbow baby. You knew mommy was pregnant before this but the baby didn’t make it and we would try again. You were beyond excited. You told me you secretly wished it would be a sister but you were totally ok if it turns out to be a brother. After we found out for sure it was a boy you exclaimed “oh, I change my mind mommy I’m so excited to…
Read MoreYou Have a Really Nice Family
My step-mom died recently. Of cancer. The really bad one. Although I know there are no good versions of cancer. Pancreatic. The survival rate is almost zero. I learned that after I googled. No one would say it out loud. It ate her alive right before our eyes. She went from a larger-than-life, loud, happy, busy woman to a shell. To a 67 year old woman in a nursing home bed. 14 months is all it took. 14 months to eat someone alive. Sawyer recently asked me why it did…
Read MoreAcknowledging the Forever
I am a ‘take it one day at a time’ kind of mom. And some days, when my kids aren’t sleeping or I feel like I am losing my mind, I’m a ‘take it one hour at a time’ mom. Just make it through the day. To bedtime. Or through the night. The sun will surely rise. This mothering thing will be easier tomorrow. It’s a new day. But I want you to know that I didn’t start to truly accept my son’s special needs until I began to feel…
Read MoreA Letter to Myself, an Autism Mommy
Dear Me, I’m sorry I never think you do enough. You go to bed exhausted. Sleep restlessly throughout the night. In between the 3 A.M. googling and night awakenings from you child, you still dream. I’m sorry you still dream. It’s never the exact dream, but that pain in your heart feels the exact same. Your nonverbal child said, “Mom…” “…I love you…” “…I’m good.” Or worse, your child has a whole conversation with you, as if their voice has always been there. Then your tired eyes open. You try to…
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