Subtle Improvements

I’ve noticed that when I get sad about something Cooper related I will miss things. Subtle improvements. I feel like my Cooper emotions are on a cycle. Something will make me sad, I’ll be down for a few days and then one of the boys will remind me how great they are and I’ll dig out. It’s a god damn roller coaster. And yes, my sads are less sad than they used to be. That sounds funny but it’s true. I’m getting stronger and life is going on and it…

Read More

Cooper Updates at Age 3 1/2

I realized that I haven’t done an actual Cooper update in a long time. I tend to get very caught up in how I feel about all of this and often my posts take on a sad feel. And I don’t want it to be like that ALL the time. Cooper has come a long way. I know that in my heart and need to remind myself of it daily. He is adorable and so sweet and so loving. He gives and gets a million kisses a day. He enjoys…

Read More

Tough Conversations

Today the school psychologist came to our house to do the final in-person evaluation. Our IEP meeting is set for the day after Memorial Day. We are so damn close. The phsycologist recently observed Cooper at daycare and was shocked at how he acted like a different kid in different settings. I totally get this and could said it until I was blue in the face. I actually gave up trying to tell people becaue I started to sound like a broken record. At the school evaluations Cooper resembles Lucifer. And…

Read More

Holding my Breath During the Good Days

We are having good days. As usual, I am so nervous to type it because I feel like it will jinx it. Cooper is learning, laughing and even improving. I would say around age 2 I started to notice that Cooper either had good days or bad days. I would try to explain it to people but I don’t think they believed me. But now, after creating this circle of other moms like me, I know it is common. Where Sawyer learns something new every single day, Cooper may not…

Read More

Running From Your Problems

I can think of a dozen times throughout this journey where I have considered taking my family and moving away. I fantasized that we would buy a cabin on a lake somewhere. Jamie and I would both work from home and we would raise the kids the way we wanted too. I would even homeschool the boys. Doing this seemed so right. Probably because the parent of a special needs child lives in constant Fight or Flight mode. I guess what I am really trying to say is that I fantasize about…

Read More

The Right Side of Age 4

Lately, I have been getting involved with a lot with other Apraxia moms both through Facebook and blogs. I have seen an increase in questions having to do with kids being nonverbal for their whole lives. I know I’ve mentioned on here before that one of the hardest moments of my life was when I realized that some kids don’t talk. Click HERE to read that post. Cooper has always been so vocal and so loud it never crossed my mind that he wouldn’t talk. When I learned that nonverbal was a…

Read More

Fish Oil and Apraxia. Does it Work?

Morning all, I wanted to do a quick post on Fish Oil and Apraxia. I get quite a few emails about the brand and dosage that I give Cooper. Cooper hasn’t been diagnosed with Apraxia as of March 2014 but he does have ‘some’ of the symptoms and I feel that giving him Fish Oil can only help his overall well being. Apraxia, or Childhood Apraxia of Speech (CAS)is a developmental disorder that affects the ability to say sounds, syllables and words. Children with Apraxia often display problems with coordination,…

Read More

Lowering my Expectations

I am sitting here trying to decide what to write about. I could write about the event I went to this weekend and how seeing hundreds of ‘normal’ happy children takes a lot out of me. How I had to text Jamie a few times for support and yet again realized how alone I am in my feelings about Cooper’s future. He will never feel how I feel about our situation. And I will never feel how he feels. Maybe its a man/woman thing. Or an outlook on life thing. I guess…

Read More

Finding Cooper

I’ve been staring at my computer for a while now trying to figure out what to write about our meeting with the child psychologist. A few words come to mind. Acceptance is one of them. It’s time now. Time for me to accept this. Right now, today, Cooper has special needs. It may get better and it may not. Honestly, the meeting probably had the best outcome that it could have. So, in that sense it was great. I’ll give you the facts first. Then I’ll give you the feelings. They…

Read More

The Evaluation is Done.

Quick post today. Cooper had his evaluation with the psychologist yesterday. Thank God that is over. We meet next Wednesday to get her feedback. According to her and his daycare provider the visit went well. Cooper made perfect eye contact the whole time, greeted parents and greeted the psychologist. Oh, and followed directions. But, what I didn’t hear is how he interacted with the other kids. And I was too scared to ask through email. So, Wednesday it is. Will this wait every end??? I wanted to share a little…

Read More