The Secrets We Keep

I backed out of the garage. Music blaring. Sunglasses on. To my neighbors it probably appeared like I was just running an errand. To the grocery store most likely. My neighborhood was alive as usual. So many people in their yards and driveways. I saw kids playing tag. Some were riding bikes. A few waved and shouted, ‘hello.’ I saw people gathered at the park. Babies in strollers. Dogs chasing balls. I live here, in this neighborhood. Suburbia. Every family much like ours. Two or more kids. Parents busy with…

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How Does this End?

When my son was diagnosed with autism over five years ago, I thought it was a race against time. I thought if we did everything all at once, all the therapies and services, we would help him, and he would eventually get back on track. I knew he’d always have autism. I was never one that thought it would go away. But I did think we would help him, bit by bit, and eventually he’d be where he needed to be. Which at the time I thought was alongside his…

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The 4 Things that Helped our Son the Most

Many of you have been following our story for years. Some even since Cooper was three when I started this blog. You’ve seen the ups and downs. The highs and the lows. You watched me struggle. And Cooper too. Severe autism is a roller coaster. There is no doubt about that. Today, he is 8 and doing so great. He is potty trained, sleeping, walking in the community, acknowledging people and his brothers, and starting to communicate. Yes, his diagnosis is still severe, nonverbal autism with a side of Apraxia…

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Having ‘That Child’

This is an open letter of sort to those that say that they could never deal with “that child.” You hear a lot about people saying they could not or would not have “that type of child.” Let me tell you about “that child” and those that love and care for them. That child has a heart bigger than most. That child has been through more than most “typical children” in a short period of time. That child has had to go through more surgeries, tests and invasive things than…

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Those Keyboard Warriors Though

One of my dear friends is going through some cyber bullying. She is a blogger. She is amazing. She talks and writes about injustices, her family, her life and her son Amos. Who not only happens to be the cutest child ever, but also has autism. She shared some screen shots with me this morning and I instantly started to sweat. I’ve been there. It will literally take your breath away and feel like you have been sucker punched the first time someone comes at you online. And the second…

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Please Allow Me to Feel the Hard Parts

Mother’s day has always been hard for me. Growing up with a single dad and a mother who was not a part of my life, (and when she was, caused a lot of heartache, confusion, and chaos) I always hated Mother’s Day. I have had some amazing women in my life step up and try to help take the place of an absent mother, but I’ll be honest and say that nothing ever fills that void. I thought becoming a mother would help though. I wanted nothing more than to…

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That Day was the Beginning of Me

My oldest son was diagnosed with ADHD at 4 years old, which I jokingly (well sort of) say he got from his mother. We are both high strung, multi-tasking, over analyzing, high functioning anxiety stricken people. He was challenging as teachers put it but I totally got him. It was not a challenge in that I felt like I was looking in the mirror at myself and I could totally relate. My youngest son began having issues very early on but not in the typical autistic way. And it was…

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Sometimes I Forget

Sometimes I forget that my daughter has autism. This may sound strange because of all the private therapies we do, the targeted activities at home to encourage her development, her specialized preschool, and more. It is as if our whole world revolves around autism, and yet the autism fades because all we see is our daughter. Sometimes I Forget She is Behind Ruby has been doing so well with her school and therapies. Just in the last 9 months she has made tremendous growth. She went from saying 1-2 word…

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I was the Gloom and Doom Mom

Yesterday, I celebrated my eighth Mother’s Day. I’m not sure how that is possible but I did the math and it is indeed right. I have three boys. Each delightfully amazing in their own way. Cooper is 8. He is the happiest boy you will ever meet. He has taught me more about life than anyone or anything else. He is my shadow. I am his person and he is mine. I have Sawyer who is 6. He is incredible and pushes me to my limits daily. He is smart,…

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Evolution of a Special Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day – A special day of reverence. A day where many of us focus our love and efforts on showing our moms, grandmothers, and mother figures just how much we love them, and how much we appreciate all that they do for us. For others, Mother’s Day is a day to mourn a loss, and reminisce about pleasant memories of the past. When someone mentions Mother’s Day to me, my immediate mental image recall is of a specific photo on a particular mother’s day when the kids were little…

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