Posts Tagged ‘autism’
I Need you to Show me the Way Kid
Last night we went for a walk. You and me and the baby. Sawyer was off riding bike with the neighbor kids. He finds walks with us to be a little boring I guess. The rain had finally stopped for the day and I needed to get outside the walls of our house. You know me kid and you know that sometimes mom feels a little batty when we spend all of our time inside. I buckled your brother into his stroller and helped you into your shoes and hoodie.…
Read MoreNo One Tells You
A first child turning 18 is an exciting time in a parent’s life, right? A time when the child you grew within you reaches the age of legal adulthood. It seems like those 18 years went by in a blink of an eye. A child you raised, guided, and encouraged throughout their childhood actually turned out pretty darn awesome. Your role in their life is different now. The little birdie is getting ready to leave the nest. They are preparing to go out on their own and conquer the world.…
Read MoreAutistic Teen left with nowhere to live after his Grandmother Dies
If you ask any special needs parent about their greatest fear surrounding their disabled child, I promise you it will always be the same. Who will care for my child after I am gone? That thought has haunted me many times. And it’s a complicated question as well. My son will need lifelong care. He will be a man, not a small child. I don’t know where he will be cognitively. Or if he’ll be able to bathe himself. Or buckle his own seatbelt. I don’t know if he will…
Read MoreUsing a Fork has Never been a Priority
This morning my son used a fork to eat his breakfast. I didn’t ask him to use a fork. Honestly, I don’t even know if I gave him a fork. He must have grabbed it off of the counter. See, he was eating waffles and sausage. And in our house, when you have a child that struggles with fine motor, waffles and sausage can be a finger food. I wasn’t motivating him to use a fork. I didn’t do hand over hand either. I didn’t remind him after every bite.…
Read MoreAin’t Nobody Got Time for Drama when You’re an Autism Mama
When I received a private message today from a sweet autism mama, my heart sank. She was leaving her support group because of drama between her and some moms in the group who had been her best friends. I knew this decision didn’t come lightly. I knew her eyes were bloodshot from nights wasted worrying about the right thing to do, wondering how this situation got so far out of control, and feeling betrayed by the very people who were her lifelines for so many years in early autism. Her…
Read MoreJoin Coop’s Troop, Our Online Community
A few years ago I decided to start a Facebook page for my blog, Finding Cooper’s Voice. I started it so I could have a place to share all of my autism related posts, and not overwhelm my friends. In less than two years, I have nearly 500,000 followers. It’s amazing. Some days I’m still surprised by the amazing response. I’ve built a community that I am proud of and love. But, with hope and support comes negativity and bullying. I guess that is the nature of social media. So,…
Read MoreWe Don’t Dwell on the Hard, but we do Acknowledge it
I often think people assume that my husband and I dwell on the hard parts of autism because we choose to share them publicly. I’ve been asked if our life is sad. Or been told that I clearly need therapy. That I’m depressed and need medication. Or my favorite…that I’m negative. That one makes me giggle. A little secret for you. We don’t dwell. We aren’t sad. We don’t wallow in pity. But we do acknowledge the hard. The very real hard parts of raising a child with a lifelong…
Read MoreThe Extra Mile Dad
You. What would I do without you? The father of my children who goes the extra mile. We have an extra mile child. He has extra needs. We are learning together. Learning how to best parent our sweet boy. Together. We have our bumpy times walking this extra mile. We may not agree, we may not yet understand, we both are sleep deprived. We keep going. When our son was diagnosed I know how hard it was for you. You were in Afghanistan when I was on the phone telling…
Read MoreA Dad’s Letter to his Nonverbal Son
Dear Cooper, I remember the moment it truly hit me that your autism was forever. And not just a word. Or a thing that other people’s kids had. It wasn’t when your mom told me that something seemed off. Or when she did the checklists late at night. I remember I got so mad at her. I defended you. I listened to her say things like nonverbal and delayed and I refused to believe that was you. I couldn’t figure out why she was looking for something that simply wasn’t…
Read MoreIs he Happy Mama?
We were driving home from the birthday party. I glanced in my rearview mirror at Sawyer. He was red cheeked with messy hair. I saw leftover pizza and frosting on his face. He was clutching his giftbag. And I was hoping there wasn’t a whistle inside. I hate whistles. He was talking to his baby brother who was in the carseat next to him. ‘Did you see me jump buddy? I almost touched the sky! You saw me climb the rocks. I was scared though. I don’t like to be…
Read More