Posts Tagged ‘autism’
What’s Your Name?
We walked into our favorite Thai restaurant to pick up our carry-out order when my 7-year-old son James began greeting all of the customers. “Hi,” he said with a huge smile to each person we passed. For the last several months, James, who was diagnosed with autism at two, has developed a love for meeting new people and learning their names. For a while he would just point at people and say, “Who’s that?” So, with our team of ABA therapists, we have been teaching him to introduce himself. I…
Read MoreA Friendship Blossoms
Autism can be hard to understand especially for a toddler. All my son wants is just a relationship with his older brother, who up until a few months ago wanted nothing to do with him. Two boys with completely different personalities: Nicholas who is laid back, keeps to himself, quiet (most of the time), and has autism; and Daniel who is outgoing, social, independent, strong willed, and most of all, persistent. For a long time I didn’t know if my boys would have a good relationship with each other. I…
Read MoreI Cried
I cried when you were diagnosed. I cried because I thought I did something to cause it. I cried because I wondered if I would ever hear your voice. I cried because I wanted you to live the childhood I imagined for you. I cried because I wanted you to have a typical relationship with your sibling. I cried because I worried that you wouldn’t have the capacity to learn. I cried because I worried that you wouldn’t have the capacity to love or be loved. I cried because you…
Read MoreWhen Parent Turns Into Caregiver
Being a parent is something I always dreamed of. Being a parent meant raising my kids to be great people, to teach them values like kindness and honesty, and hopefully send them into the world as adults who could make a life for themselves. When I was pregnant I imagined their milestones in front of us. Finishing primary and secondary school, hopefully onto college and graduation and lastly a career that they loved and that both challenged and fulfilled them. In the same breath I imagined myself and Brian as…
Read MoreThe World Outside of Our Home
One of the most amazing things that has happened in the last few months is our son’s desire to leave our home. To go places. To try things. And to communicate about it. We never went anywhere for years. Seven years to be exact. We were always home. Safely inside triple locked doors and fences. We went to therapy, the occasional doctor’s trip, and to see grandparents but that was it. When we did go somewhere we always had to drive the same route. Do the same things. See the…
Read MoreThe Goal is Independence
Why do parents like me care so much about therapy? I’ve read some crazy reasons as to why. I’ve heard we are tying to make our kids not autistic. That ones bizarre. I’ve heard we are trying to change them. Suppress them. Even torture them. Equally ridiculous. None of those are true. Not for me at least. I take my son to therapy, day after day, when I should be working or watching my other son play hockey or cleaning my house, for one simple reason. I fight for insurance…
Read MoreThe First Time The Word Autism Scared Me
I didn’t allow myself to feel any of the emotions that came with his diagnosis. I didn’t walk out of his appointment any different than walking in. It hit me about 3 weeks later. When the letter arrived. At his appointment, we discussed ABA. We discussed the hours. We discussed how we needed this for him to start speech. I walked out feeling relieved. I know that’s a total opposite emotion than you would expect. To me it was finally being heard. Finally getting him the services he needed to…
Read MoreA Morning in the Life of a Girl with Autism
Most mornings she wakes up around 6am. She enters the playroom and turns on all the lights. She turns them all back off. She turns them all back on. Then she comes to my room. The door is locked with a keypad. She enters 4 numbers. I don’t know which 4 numbers because I’m on the other side of the door. She enters the same 4 numbers again. I know because the pitch of the numbers is the same. And again. Then she knocks. 4 times. Bang, bang, bang, bang.…
Read MoreThe Graceful and Not So Graceful Lessons I learned in 2019:
Well adjusted, self sufficient, independent women can completely lose themselves to motherhood. Even ones who appear to have it all together. They can also find themselves again. Sleep deprivation presents itself as depression. And marriage problems. And weight gain or weight loss. And a whole lotta other tough words. Sleep deprivation is torture. You must find a way to sleep. Pour your energy into the positive people in your life. Surround yourself with them. Soak up their energy and laughter. Text them. Call them. Invite them into your crazy, weird…
Read MoreThe Mystery of Time
My son, when you were little, I would picture your future. Our future really. The beginning was hard. Mama can say that. You didn’t like to sleep. Or eat. Or sit still. Or play. You wouldn’t do any of the things that mama needed you to do either. Stack three blocks? No way Jose. Sit in a circle full of friends and listen to a story? Not gonna happen mama. Instead, you and I would do our own thing. It felt like we were in our own world. Just you…
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