Dear Anxiety

Dear anxiety, You and me need to have a talk. Because this co-existing crap isn’t working anymore. We need to set up some rules. You have been with my son since birth, although, like his autism, we didn’t know until much later. You are a thief. A thief of joy, of calm, of growth. His and ours. I used to think of you as a monster. A loud, huge, lumbering monster coming right at us. Once I learned more about you, I could see you plain as day. You didn’t…

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The Aftermath of an Autism Dignosis

“Mommy, wake up. I love you,” I hear Rhys’s raspy little voice say into the darkness as he holds my face in his hands. It’s before 6am and that champagne from last night is now wreaking havoc on my head. But I open my eyes and pop up to greet Rhys, fueled by this new milestone we’ve reached: saying “I love you.” Both proactively and in the appropriate context. Sure, as parents we all get melty when our children say “I love you.” But when Rhys says it, it’s magic.…

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Our Stories Are Not All the Same

This will be my most unliked post, and I get it. I’m never trying to “start something” or offend anyone, but I do want to be honest in how I feel on this journey.  My name is Danielle. I share our families journey at Story of Noahism. I made a tiktok a couple weeks ago and on that app comments get a lot of attention. More so than IG. And one of my top comments meaning hundreds, almost 1k to be exact, of ppl have liked it, goes something like…

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This Is Autism

It’s different. It’s difficult. It’s beautiful It’s gut wrenching. It’s time. It’s heart. It’s patience. It’s anxiety. It’s depression. It’s love. It’s overwhelming. It’s grace. It’s tears. It’s joy. It’s appreciation. It’s lonely. It’s surprising. It’s constant.  We set out on this journey six years ago (officially)…should have been sooner but doctors drag their feet. Obtaining a diagnosis requires you to spit fire until someone gets sick of you banging their door down. The therapy is prescribed but the centers won’t take you until the child is three because otherwise…

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He Did His Best

Today was a big day for this kid and our family. We went to the Afton Apple Orchard. You know the kind with lots of noise and people and waiting and walking. And we went as a family. We invited our friends to come along as well. See in our world, we need help. We know that now. We know our strengths and our weaknesses. And our Cooper, he requires both mom and dad sometimes. We had a lot of wins today. Cooper petted his first llama, sheep, donkey and…

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The Stories We Share

We are just a few weeks away from celebrating the 6th anniversary Henry’s autism diagnosis.  We celebrate now, but back then it was a different story. Six years ago, I was nervous and confused.  I can admit it now, but I knew nothing about autism before his diagnosis. It’s hard to believe because autism is now my life and my work.  But yes, at that point, I knew nothing more about it besides a few characters in TV and movies. Henry had a lot of the textbook signs back then:…

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Five Things I Wish I Knew Before An Autism Diagnosis

If you are new to this autism journey and are wondering how to process all the information out there, here are some things I wish I had known while going through the process. All autism characteristics do not all fit into a checklist.  Many of the early signs of autism we recognized later in our son as he got older did not fit into the standard website search.  Our son, at an early age, loved anything round.  He carried around balls, round fruit, played with practically anything in the form…

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An Apology to My Children

To my children – my little marvels, I am writing you this letter to tell you how sorry I am. But first and foremost I want you to know that I love you. You may already know by the time you read this that I am not the best communicator. I am generally quite articulate, I use long words and I can talk about complex issues. However, I am not good at making general conversation and I do not find it easy to talk about my feelings. Both of these…

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Look For the Silver Lining

So many things could be said about the lack of “sunshine” surrounding a diagnosis such as Autism Spectrum Disorder. It’s labeled as rigid. And scary. And lonely. And most people (including us early on) are uneducated about ASD. Simply because it is thought to be almost “taboo”. In our case, we went through all the stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining… all of them). Then you do yourself a favor, and you arm yourself with knowledge. Suddenly, the sky clears up, and you come around to the “acceptance” stage. I…

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Somewhere in the Middle Of Hope

Most days you can find me somewhere in the middle of hope at the intersection of not knowing what I’m doing nor where I’m going. This is the life I’ve grown accustomed to-the autism life. Covid-19 isn’t my first “new normal” receiving an autism spectrum disorder diagnosis for my son three years ago was. In an instant our priorities and responsibilities changed, our entire world was rocked as we knew it by autism. My son Stalen was diagnosed on the spectrum at twenty-one months. He is considered non-verbal.  Today, he is a…

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