Posts Tagged ‘autism mom’
I am Thankful for Those Rare Moments
I’m going to be real here. Throughout the frustration, the exhaustion, the tears and screaming, I really start to question how much I can handle sometimes. There are days where I really don’t want to get out of bed and face the day. There are days where I want to hide away, just for five minutes of peace. There are days where I want to scream and cry. There are days when I truly do think, ‘autism really sucks.’ Then, there is the feeling of guilt that for a brief…
Read MoreHowever Hard Autism is for Me; It is Harder for My Son
At 9 months old, I knew there was something different about Zachary. At 17 months old I took it upon myself to get him started in feeding therapy, and then shortly after early intervention. At that early point in Zachary’s life everyone tells you, “he is fine…he is a boy, they take longer to do certain things” and all that extra fluff. As a nurse I knew differently, and as a mom I knew in my heart. Zachary will be 4 years old in April, which also means I have been a mom for that long as…
Read MoreTo All the Mothers with Kids on the Spectrum
To all the mommies out there with children on the Spectrum: You wake up so early every morning and your body is still exhausted from the previous day…week…month…year. You give yourself a pep talk, take a deep breath, and swing your legs over the side of the bed. If you’re super lucky, like me, your husband will have already brought up a hot cup of coffee and set it on the nightstand. You head downstairs and mentally prepare yourself for the battles and potential triggers that lay ahead. You keep…
Read MoreA Letter to My Daughter
I see my children’s interactions everyday. But there are some certain moments where I actually “see” it. The bond, the patience, and the unconditional love of a sibling to a special needs child. My dearest girl, For as long as I can remember I wanted to be a mom. I dreamt of you from the time I was a little girl carrying around my favorite baby dolls. I remember how elated I felt when we found out we were having a girl. I imagined the special moments we’d share; dressing…
Read MoreAutism Outside the Safety Net of Home
Yesterday, Jamie pulled me aside and asked if I thought Cooper was acting more autistic than usual. I told him no. Now before you gasp at that statement, know that it comes from love. And an increase in autistic type behaviors means pain, anxiety and other areas of concern. If we see him all of a sudden head hitting, lining up objects, closing doors, etc., we know that something is wrong. And we dive in and try and figure it out. When a child is not verbal and not able…
Read MoreThat Moment When
For some reason I thought about autism when my girls were babies. I kept track of their milestones, and as they grew, I was reassured when they continued meeting them within the normal range. A new school for autism was being built just down the street from us when our first was a baby, and I remember thinking to myself, “I sure hope we won’t ever have a need for that school”. I thought about autism with our son Austin as well. Just once when he was a newborn. I remember…
Read MoreTo The Person Who Saved Me
I want to take you back a year ago. To a different me. When it was a much darker time. Where I was the mom who is spending more days crying than not. A mom who felt hopeless. Who looked at her son, and wanted to do everything within herself to help him, but didn’t know how. Who didn’t want to anything, anymore. A person who was depressed. I typed in the google search, ‘therapists near me.’ So many options came up. I’d look their profiles over, and they all…
Read MoreAfter Thoughts…
As a parent, we have hopes and dreams for our children. I would lay in bed, watching my daughter sleep and smile just picturing the woman she would one day become. I saw an independent career woman, an amazing mother, a loving wife—I saw her living life to the fullest—enjoying every moment. Autism changed those dreams overnight. When Kya received her autism diagnosis, a flood of emotions washed over me that my mind and body could simply not handle. As the fog slowly began to clear, I was tasked to understand…
Read MoreWhen the Reason is Autism
On November of 2014, the most beautiful baby boy came into our lives. As most new parents, we were completely overjoyed and thought he was absolutely perfect. Jackson was such a happy baby, and I remember how people used to comment on how expressive he was. As Jackson grew, he continued to hit all the milestones of a typical growing infant and soon, toddler. Rolling over? Check. Crawling? Check. Walking? Check. First words? Nothing. I recall around age two when I started to get a little suspicious about why my…
Read MoreFriend, I Don’t Know What I’m Doing Either
I thought for sure I was going to be the perfect mama. Well, not perfect because let’s be honest here. But, I guess I thought life was going to be relatively easy. You get married. Have babies. Work. Live. Try and drink enough water. Exercise. Keep your kids from turning into little monsters. Teach them. Love them. Take them to the dentist and yearly check-ups. Find time for your spouse. Laugh. Love some more. And grow older. Retire. Be thankful. I thought that was life in a nutshell I guess.…
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