Posts Tagged ‘autism in girls’
We Are All Worthy
Erase the word. Wouldn’t it be nice if it were that simple? There are certain words that have such a negative impact. Words that describe race, sexual orientation, substance abuse, and disabilities. As a parent of a child with special needs, I want to talk about the stigma of the derogatory word used to describe people with mental disabilities and the word that is also used as slang to make fun of others, in reference to them being stupid. I clearly remember sitting across from the psychologist as he was…
Read MoreTo My Daughter’s Birth Mom
Always and in so many silly ways, we love you. Through the remarkably challenging stuff and each heart warming moment, I think of you and I love you. In struggle and in triumph, her dad and I stick to the promises we made with you, six years ago today. When Seeley notices her remarkable hair, she thanks you. When she finds an eyelash and doesn’t want to wish for a pet jellyfish, she sometimes sends you her extra wishes. When she catches a fall on her big biscuits, she screams…
Read MoreSuddenly, I Was a Special Needs Parent
Before my daughter was diagnosed the world of special needs was unknown to me. When I dreamed of motherhood being a special needs parent never crossed my mind. Suddenly I joined a club I never thought I would be a part of. Special needs terrified me. Just those two words sent chills down my spine. It was a world I knew nothing about. And then a picture will come across my memories newsfeed and it suddenly pulls me back to the days prior to being a special needs parent. I…
Read MoreTo the Special Needs Mom Hiding, You Are Not Alone
Dear Momma, I see you, driving down the road with tears in your eyes. I see the deer caught in headlights look as your hands firmly grip the wheel. You sob, uncontrollably, afraid to utter the words that well within your body. I know you utter how much your child is loved, how you wouldn’t change them for the world, that you will get through it together but I know you’d give your life in a heartbeat to have it so your child didn’t struggle with aggression. I know the…
Read MoreOur Life, With No Apologies
No one person knows my life, the extent of what I have witnessedin sterile hospital rooms while my daughters beautiful minds seized for what seemed to be an eternity. Nor do they know the joy and pride in my heart when my nonverbal child signs “I love you” to me and I can feel the depth of her love through her tight squeezes and occasional love pinches. I have been battered with sleepless nights of chaos, insulin, low alert alarms, pure worry and panic of a life altering seizure or…
Read MoreLet’s Lower the Bar for a Minute, Shall We?
Yesterday I got the email from a special education teacher. “You’re daughter is getting an F in math”. But my mind is far from academics at the moment. My mind is on the ortho surgery my 15 year old daughter with ASD, ADHD (combo type), OCD, SPD, GAD and severe depression will have this coming Monday. She told the surgeon ‘to hurry the fu*k up’ when he was putting on hand sanitizer entering the consult room the other day. My mind is on counting calories to prevent introducing a new med due to her recent weight gain. Weight gain caused by a medication we do…
Read MoreBuilding an Autism Bridge Between Generations
There’s a meme that’s been circulating Facebook this week. It reads: ‘In my day, they didn’t have all this Autism and ADHD and stuff.’ ‘I think what you mean is that people used to go undiagnosed and get absolutely no help and were forced to suffer through their lives because they had zero support or understanding.’ Every time this pops up in my newsfeed, it reminds me of the worry I felt the day I explained to my then 84 and 85 year old Grandparents that my young daughter, Evie,…
Read MoreThree Kinds of Special Needs Parents and the Groups we March in
In this special needs community we have lovingly cultivated, there are three kinds of people, in three very different groups. I type this only to paradigm shift anyone on the ledge of two sides. Special Needs Parents find themselves here, there, or coasting. The Gratefully Coasting Group The Gratefully Coasting Group is this: things are good, you continue with the systems and supports that are working and you look up every now and again to thank your lucky stars. The Candle Vigil Group The Candle Vigil Group is this: you…
Read MoreChristmas is Changing
When I dreamt of Christmas with my daughter, I pictured so many things. Simple things really. Christmas movies, Christmas shopping, hot chocolate after ice skating. Sure, we can do those things but gosh they are hard or there is almost always a fall out. The timing of the fallout has changed over the years. I would like to think it is learning to tolerate the outside world or maybe its age. Christmas isn’t typically a joyful time of year around here. Christmas in general is loud and busy. Two things…
Read MoreI Wasn’t Ready, But I’m Getting There
No one asked if I was ready… At 18 months old, my daughter Vivian was typically developing. She had always been “the last.” The last of the children of her age group that we knew to learn to crawl, the last to walk, the last to utter her first word, “dog.” But that was okay. She was still in the typical range. Then she began withdrawing. No one asked if I was ready to see my baby stop coming to me. I wasn’t. I wasn’t ready to watch as my…
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