Posts Tagged ‘autism family’
A Love Letter to a Fellow Autism Mom
The love language for a special needs parent to feel seen, accepted, and understood is as simple as a head nod, and a “me too” on a zoom call or a quick chat on the phone. Or maybe even in the grocery store where your child is having a hard time. If you’ve ever been that person for another special needs mom, you’ve changed their life, you’ve made them feel seen, and they thank you for it. Thank you for sharing your story of walking through the hard, so that…
Read MoreAcceptance Is Not About Resignation
The special needs “warrior mother” is a well-known figure. She’s the mother that kept pushing, read all the literature, challenged the doctors, demanded services, lobbied congress: in short, she changed the world and then went on Oprah to promote the book. Chances are she’s reading this right now… boy, am I in trouble! Yet how often do we hear of the warrior fathers? Crickets. When I first heard the experts murmur the A word, my defense mechanisms kicked into high gear and I immediately erected a wall of denial around…
Read MoreThere’s Nothing ‘High Functioning’ About It
My son Daniel has been challenging since the beginning. He is strong-willed with a big personality and has even bigger feelings. He cried all the time as a baby. I attributed his big emotions back then to him being in pain. He had a cast on his leg the first few months of his life due to his club foot. It never occurred to me that something else was going on. I assumed because he talked and walked before his siblings that he was a normal kid. I wanted and…
Read MoreA Mother’s Hardest Day
Today I witnessed a mother’s hardest day. Her daughter’s funeral. She was 14 years old. She died for no reason. It was one of those things that make no sense and makes you wonder why and how and question everything. She is my cousin. The woman. Her dad and my dad are brothers. I did not know her daughter. I need no condolences. And yet I sobbed through the entire funeral. As a mother to three boys, I felt an ache of the emptiness. And the loss. Hers. I thought…
Read MoreBe Brave Sweet Boy
It takes incredible bravery and courage to go out into the world knowing that you will be misunderstood and unable to communicate. This kid, and so many like him, do it every single day. They get a kiss from their mom, walk to the bus holding dad’s hand, and leave their safe place. Think about that. If something happens to him, if someone hurts him, if someone is mean to him, he can’t tell me. And yet he believes and trusts in the good of the world. Every day I…
Read MoreMy Son Has Taught Me to Live in the Now
I do not have autism. I am not autistic. But my son is. And watching and learning from him has been one of the greatest gifts life has given me. He has taught me to slow down. He has taught me to prioritize. He has taught me what is important and what truly matters. He has even shown me the good in this world. And the bad that is out there. This is how he greets every member of our family after school. He doesn’t have words. Just actions and…
Read MoreThe Tender Things
Mama, what is a family? A family? Well, my child A family is at once The easiest And the hardest Thing to build Think of it as a garden Maybe you expected rows and rows of neat tulips Standing straight and tall in their church pews Eating organic apples and placing the cores neatly in the trash can Instead, you have a field full of wildflowers Colorful, shrieking wildflowers Who eat your leftovers with their fingers And leave gum wrappers all over the house It was not supposed to be…
Read MoreYou Will Get Better Mama
I know, mama. I know that right now it’s really bad. I know that it feels like the world is crumbling around you and you don’t know how you are going to move on. One day, things won’t be so scary. Don’t get me wrong…it is always going to be hard. The hard will never really get better, but you will mama. You will get better. You will get better at the paperwork. One day, those forms won’t make you cry. You will get better at the meetings. One day,…
Read MoreTo the Special Needs Mom Hiding, You Are Not Alone
Dear Momma, I see you, driving down the road with tears in your eyes. I see the deer caught in headlights look as your hands firmly grip the wheel. You sob, uncontrollably, afraid to utter the words that well within your body. I know you utter how much your child is loved, how you wouldn’t change them for the world, that you will get through it together but I know you’d give your life in a heartbeat to have it so your child didn’t struggle with aggression. I know the…
Read MoreHappy Birthday Sweet Boy
Please help me wish this little cutie a happy 8th birthday today! I know it’s cliche, but the days are long and the years are short. I’m not sure how he’s 8 already! He will forever be my little buddy. Happy birthday Sawyer! Now time needs to stop! I can’t have you grow up anymore. Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once…
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