Posts Tagged ‘autism child’
Seeing Autism Through Your Eyes
I don’t think about autism really. Not anymore. Or about my son being different than his peers. He doesn’t have a label at home. Or even a diagnosis. We don’t speak in clinical talk or point out how he is different from other 11 year old kids. He is Cooper. He is not autistic Cooper. He is not nonverbal Cooper. He is himself. Perfectly made and one of my four kids. I think that’s the beautiful part that comes with settling into a lifelong diagnosis. In the beginning, the differences…
Read MoreSetting a Timer for Summer
I am not autistic, my son is. And I spend much of time trying to understand him so I can be a better advocate. How he thinks. How he processes. Why he likes certain things. Or doesn’t like others. And how I can help him understand this world that wasn’t really made for him. His brain often feels a bit confusing to me. Mysterious even. Intriguing at the same time. Autism. Blurring the edges a bit. Touching all of his parts. Yesterday, as we were driving together, Cooper saw a…
Read MoreHow to be a Good Friend to a Person who has a Child with Special Needs
I get asked a lot how to be a good friend to a person who has a child with special needs. Here are my 10 suggestions. 10. Let me be. In the beginning, I needed someone to let me be sad. Or worried. Or angry. Whatever emotion I was at the time. Just let me be for a while as I step into our new world. So often people try to rush us through or gloss over our hard times. Just sit with me and don’t try and fix it…
Read MoreIs He Happy?
‘Everyone has a different idea of what happiness looks like.’ Is my son happy? I think about that a lot. As do many parents of children who struggle to communicate. Who can’t show us. For a lot of years I honestly didn’t know the answer to that question. At age 5 my son didn’t laugh or smile much. He didn’t enjoy leaving our house. At home, he isolated himself a lot. He didn’t play or interact really. He was full of anxiety, only we didn’t know because anytime we asked…
Read MoreLoving Him Through His Hard
My sweet boy is having a sad night and he is unable to tell us why. We are doing everything we can to figure out the why and the what but no luck so far. It’s the hardest part of nonverbal/nonspeaking for me as a parent so I can’t even imagine how hard it is for him. Does he not feel well? Does something hurt? Is he getting sick? Is he scared? Worried? Sad? Does he miss someone? Was someone mean to him? There are a million and one questions…
Read MoreKeep Trying
We used to not be able to safely ride in the car as a family. Let that sink in for a moment. We had to take two cars, Jamie and I separating the boys, or one of us had to ride in the back with the kids and even then it wasn’t all that safe. At one point we had to have a safety plan. We couldn’t turn left. Or stop at stoplights. Road construction was the worst. Slowing down wasn’t allowed. I’d tell friends that we couldn’t go through…
Read MoreWe Have to Fight
Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about the paths that each of my children will take as they grow up. Three sons and a daughter. Ranging from 11 to 9 months. Cooper, my oldest, well, it’s been complicated. So many daycare’s until we finally couldn’t find one to take him anymore. Then starting in the school district at age 3, multiple day programs, IEP meetings, transportation to and from, trusting the world with my tiny, yet mighty, nonspeaking, spirited, child who could hardly hold up his backpack. I waved goodbye…
Read MoreWhat I Worry About
When we are out in public, I don’t worry about how my autistic son will act. I don’t worry about his mannerisms. Or his uniqueness. Because I know exactly who he is and how he is going to behave. And that he is learning and growing. I know he will flap his arms in pure joy. I know he will run. And sit. And maybe feel the cool of the cement with his cheek. I know he will squeal. And hum. And laugh. I know he will wave to strangers…
Read MoreA Letter to My Little Brother
A letter to my little brother… Hey brother, I’m hoping that someday I can say this all to you. But there is a chance that I might never be able too…I’m hoping that when you are older you will read this and understand. I know I confuse you. I’m so loud. I flap my arms. I don’t notice toys. Or play sports. Or like to leave our house. I don’t play like you. I have never ridden a bike and I don’t care at all about hockey. And I know…
Read MoreNow I Want Strong and Happy
I just spent two whole days in a swim suit at a water park. At 38 years old. As a mother of four. And I found myself remembering back when. Back when I rocked a bikini and had no insecurities. I saw fit people and bigger people and thin people and athletic people. Some were covered in tattoos and some with piercings. Some were in one piece swimsuits and some in bikinis. Some were covered up and some were not. Some were confident and owned it and some were not.…
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