Guest Post
Making the Brave Choices
In the very early days of Mark’s autism diagnosis, I found myself in a little, darkened observation room, perched in front of a two-way mirror watching Mark during his special group speech program alongside other parents, who I would learn later were at the exact same spot on their journey. One of these parents has become a dear friend of mine, and as she put it when we first began chatting, she had unpacked her bags in the land of grief. She grieved what could have, should have, and what…
Read MoreI Have Hope But My Heart Still Hurts
My baby girl’s body is changing. At 9 years old I can see the beginnings of the tell tale signs of puberty. I am really hoping it will be a long way off as I am not ready for all that comes with that yet. Isla still needs a lot of help with toileting and is still in a night nappy so I do not want this to happen any time soon. My heart hurts. She is growing taller and her last year’s clothes do not fit. She has gone…
Read MoreMy Daughter; Living Her Own Life
Tess came into our life in March 1999. She is part of a big family that lived in Africa. In 1999, Tess’s mum and dad were killed. The circumstances are not important. What is important is that in the blink of an eye, Tess lost her mum and dad and, after coming to live with us in England a few months later, her home, school, friends and country. Her world. Tess was 12 at the time. The loss was doubly confusing because she wasn’t able to comprehend what had happened.…
Read MoreTo The Person Who Saved Me
I want to take you back a year ago. To a different me. When it was a much darker time. Where I was the mom who is spending more days crying than not. A mom who felt hopeless. Who looked at her son, and wanted to do everything within herself to help him, but didn’t know how. Who didn’t want to anything, anymore. A person who was depressed. I typed in the google search, ‘therapists near me.’ So many options came up. I’d look their profiles over, and they all…
Read MoreLost in the Woods
This post was shared anonymously and is about all the children and families that struggle with the daily life of Autism, Special Needs, and Mental Health issues. This is the view from my personal window. I Can See It I could see it all so clearly, like a movie playing in front of me. A curious child. A clever child. An autistic child. He is crawling out of bed in the middle of the night. He never has slept much. It was a pretty spring day earlier, and he wanted…
Read MoreAfter Thoughts…
As a parent, we have hopes and dreams for our children. I would lay in bed, watching my daughter sleep and smile just picturing the woman she would one day become. I saw an independent career woman, an amazing mother, a loving wife—I saw her living life to the fullest—enjoying every moment. Autism changed those dreams overnight. When Kya received her autism diagnosis, a flood of emotions washed over me that my mind and body could simply not handle. As the fog slowly began to clear, I was tasked to understand…
Read MoreWhat is Normal?
When I became pregnant with my first child in 2007, I had no idea the journey I was about to embark on. I felt that I would be like every other mother I knew and have that ‘normal family’. It didn’t turn out that way and honestly, I could have never imagined the hurdles that we would have to go through over the last 11 years. My daughter was born in 2008, health and happy. For the first two years everything was perfect. One day, I noticed a small tremor…
Read MoreWe Don’t Need to Decide What is Worse
My ah-ha moment really has nothing to do with my son or his autism. But more about how moms in the special needs world view and treat each other. About three years ago, I met one of the most important people in my life. My close friend Carrie. She has a little guy who is 4 ½ and has nonverbal autism. My autistic 6 ½ year old is verbal. So, they are basically opposites. Carries lives pretty far from me, so we don’t get to see each other often. But…
Read MoreDiagnosis Day
1 in 189 girls are diagnosed with autism. Today, my girl officially became the 1. I pictured her soaring in with a superwoman cape and “saving” all the other little girls from this fate. But as we know, it’s not a choice like that. I’ve never worked so hard for a piece of paper I didn’t ever want. The piece of paper saying my daughter has a chronic disability for which she can never be cured took nearly a year of constant phone calls, evaluations to submit, i’s to be…
Read MoreWhen You’re Afraid to Say the Words Aloud
I like to think that after 14 years of living with autism, I’ve learned a few things. I read, and still read, everything I come across about the subject. When my oldest daughter was diagnosed in 2005, I spent a good year doing every possible intervention or “cure” there was. Mind you this was the time before social media and Jenny McCarthy’s book was one of the few books offering recovery. Defeat Autism Now (DAN) doctors provided the needed medical intervention including hyperbaric chambers, yeast detox, allergy testing, diet changes…
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