Some kids never follow the beaten path… Whether it’s from birth or from a later date, some kids don’t follow the beaten path. They don’t meet milestones on time. They don’t follow the norm. They don’t do what every other kids is seemingly doing. My son Cooper is that way. He takes note of what he is ‘supposed’ to do and does the opposite. Some people call him a free spirit. Some call him stubborn. Even challenging. Autistic, disabled, special needs…all words thrown in. It’s hard sometimes. I won’t lie…
My son, Today is the first day of summer vacation for you. You are 9 and yesterday was your last day of third grade. On the walk to the car after your day, not one minute into summer, you said, I’m a fourth grader now. You have always wanted to be older. Bigger. Faster. You have never had time for little kid stuff. I’ve noticed as we’ve entered these in-between years, parenting is getting a bit more confusing. I find myself questioning myself a lot. Wondering if I’m doing the…
We used to not be able to have lamps in our home. That sentence right there. That’s the one that people always comment on when I say it during interviews. Then they chuckle when I follow it up with how for weeks we had to eat with headlamps on. In the dark. At our kitchen table. I’m sharing this here because my son Cooper just had one of his best weekends ever. And I spent a little time last night looking at old photos and remembering the beginning of our…
I saw a post this morning shared by the amazing Jacalyn Wetzel that said something like… ‘Almost zero active shooter drills take into account disabled children.’ I paused when I saw it. I read it again and again. I don’t know if it’s true or not. I guess I’ve never researched the subject. But what I do know is that my son could not hide. Or stay quiet. He could not play dead. He would not be able to think to cover his body with blood from a peer. He…
I want to acknowledge how hard holidays like this one can be on a family with a member who has a disability. It’s important that we talk about it. Share what we need. Let the world know that we are trying but so often we just can’t. We try. We may fail. We don’t try. We feel left out. Sad. It’s hard. If we do go to the bbq, beach or party, we are usually near but far. We wander the perimeter. We sit in the car. We hide in…
If you’ve never met anyone like my son, you’re missing out. Discover the gift of knowing someone who has special needs or a disability or who is different. Do it today. They will open your eyes to a whole other world. One that looks like your own but isn’t. I promise you the word pity will vanish from your vocabulary too. And it will be exchanged with joy, resilience, and triumph. Get out of your bubble. Your comfort zone. Meet new people. See others unlike yourself. Different can feel scary.…
Today is my daughter’s first birthday. One year ago today, right about now, she decided to very dramatically and quickly join this world. A head full of white hair. So white that her whole birth team said they had never seen hair so white. She was perfect. She is perfect. Last night, as I watched the news I held her a little bit longer than usual before I laid her down. I pretended not to notice the time when my 9 year old snuck down to sit beside us. And…
I was 8 months pregnant when Sandy Hook happened. I remember standing in front of the tv for most of the day. Watching it unfold. The children. I still remember their faces. I can still see them. Today. Again. The children. I have kids the same age. Tomorrow their names will be shared. Beautiful photos. Smiles. Lives lost. I have no wise words. Although the ones that come to mind are… Devastated Heartbroken Scared Gutted I imagine most of the world is feeling the same way. Processing. Watching. Reflecting. Wondering…
This morning I sat long after I should have and rocked my last baby. The day was calling and I should have gotten moving. There were lunches to be made, dishes to be done, emails to be sent. But instead, I sat and held her. I smelled her hair. And studied her face. And listened to her giggle as I pretended to chew on the fingers she placed in my mouth. Her first birthday is in two days. My last baby. How did that happen? Just yesterday I was 28…
People ask me all the time about my son’s first signs of autism. For some children, it’s textbook. A quick google search returns a lack of or loss of words, struggles with eye contact, or lack of imaginative play. For other kids, the diagnosis doesn’t come so easy. It’s more complicated. Pages full of questions and checkboxes that parents agonize over. Waiting. Worrying. Wondering. I call it the in between space. For us, our sweet boy was born autistic. From the second he was placed in my arms I knew.…
