My son went out in his pajamas today. It was 3pm in the afternoon. It wasn’t because I’m a bad mum. It wasn’t because I am a lazy git. It wasn’t because I don’t care. In fact it was the total opposite. My son refused to leave the house. I held out four pairs of shorts and a selection of t-shirts – each one was rejected! It was not because he is a bad kid, and it is not because I don’t know how to discipline my son. It is…
Today I want to talk about inclusion and what it really means. Inclusion is not just about being allowed into the building, there’s no point being given the key to a door if you don’t know how to turn it. Inclusion will look different for everyone, it’s not a one size fits all approach. Every single person has different needs, things that make their life “work”. With Charlie it’s a lot of things, it’s complicated and you need to want to understand. It’s not about mere supervision, it’s about understanding.…
That dark place… I wasn’t even going to write this because it hurts too much, but I feel I should. Reading and hearing all these stories about adults with learning difficulties being hurt, abused, neglected, and killed, it’s too much. I don’t share everything I read because if I’m honest, I find it too hard to face. You see, my mind has a dark place in it, and I go there when fear for my perfect boy kicks in. It doesn’t happen when we’re having a bad day when he…
My son, Today is the first day of summer vacation for you. You are 10 and yesterday was your last day of fourth grade. On the walk to the car after your day, not one minute into summer, you said, I’m a fifth grader now. You have always wanted to be older. Bigger. Faster. You have never had time for little kid stuff. I’ve noticed as we’ve entered these in-between years, parenting is getting a bit more confusing. I find myself questioning myself a lot. Wondering if I’m going the…
Last night I was just a mom. That reads funny, I know. I mean, I have four kids. I’m always ‘just’ a mom. I pack lunches and wash blankets. I kiss owies and scrub grass stains out of baseball pants. I give baths and hold hands and know all the passwords and how to fix the wifi when it stops working. With my oldest, Cooper, it’s a bit different. At age three he was diagnosed with severe nonverbal autism. And well, the game changed a bit. Suddenly I became more…
Two years ago we were in the fight of our life. I remember sobbing on the floor of our playroom because I understood for the first time in Jackson’s life how it was safer for some children to live away from home. I was terrified. Heartbroken. And scared to death we would never make it through as a family of four. And two years later we are finally letting out the huge breath we’ve been holding for two years. We can finally breathe again. I am sharing the truth with…
We used to not be able to have lamps in our home. That sentence right there. That’s the one that people always comment on when I say it during presentations. Then they chuckle when I follow it up with how for weeks we had to eat with headlamps on. In the dark. At our kitchen table. I’m sharing this here because my son Cooper just had one of his best weekends ever. And I spent a little time last night looking at old photos and remembering the beginning of our…
Dear Mama, I know you’re scared. I was too. I know this is not what you imagined for your baby. It is okay to be sad and to grieve for the loss of the life you imagined. Let the tears fall, do not try to stop them. You need to feel the loss, the heartbreak, the pain. I know you want to know why. Why is this happening to your beautiful child, your family? This will haunt you in the beginning. Please try not to compare your child to other…
Growing up on the autism spectrum, eye contact was challenging. Often it felt like an internal pressure from sensory stimulation. As a professional speaker who now gives talks with companies as part of professional development, I often mention getting rid of the interview process because of challenges like this. Instead, I recommend companies do a 1-day job trial to show what autistic employees may be capable of forgoing this challenge. Here are 5 reasons why we should never make autistic people force eye contact: It can be distracting. The structure was…
Our autism journey officially began four years ago as of today. Adventure is another word that comes to mind. The evaluation will forever be burned in my memory. I don’t think a parent could ever forget it despite knowing the diagnosis going into the evaluation. Still, we choose to focus on my son Gage’s progress, accomplishments, and his ability to tackle the world despite his “limitations”. I also want to acknowledge the trials the rest of my family faces because their feelings are valid. Immediate family, extended family, chosen family,…
