Navigating the Education System with a Nonverbal Autistic Child

‘I feel like a fraud.’

That’s how I started my presentation to a wonderful group of teachers and staff today.

‘I feel like a fraud because I have no idea where my son fits into the world of education. And I’m scared to say it might be nowhere.’

My name is Kate and I have four children. They are 12, 10, 4, and 2. My oldest has a diagnosis of severe, nonverbal, level 3 autism. His name is Cooper.

Nothing with him is typical. It’s always been a battle to figure out. How do we fit this square peg into a round hole? How do we make it work? How do we soften his edges?

I’m scared a lot. And I worry nonstop. And I wonder sometimes how I can fight this fight forever. Should I take him and hide?

I don’t know the answers. Heck I don’t even know the questions all the time.

I have been thinking about it for a while now.

What am I fighting for?

Am I fighting for him to go to school? To simply be in the building?

Am I fighting for him to be included? Accepted. Invited?

Am I fighting for him to learn? To be taught?

Am I fighting to not get a phone call? A place for him to go during the day?

Am I fighting for him to be happy?

Am I fighting for his reputation?

Am I fighting just to fight?

Am I fighting for him to stay in his current school? Or go to a different school?

Am I fighting for all individuals with disabilities?

Am I fighting for people to like him?

I don’t know anymore.

And I also don’t think I am winning. And I don’t think I have the longevity to keep fighting like this.

I’m taking the summer to figure it out.

I’m going to sit in the sunshine at Sawyer’s baseball game. I’m going to take Cooper on a boat ride. I’m going to play with my babies.

I’m going to pray and ponder and evaluate. And I going to think about what I am fighting for. Because I think I am losing sight of what matters. I am missing the forest for the trees.

Today helped. Sharing with these amazing educators. Telling them about the other side of the table.

‘You are not a fraud. You are a mom who loves her son.’ Hearing that helped too.

To the other parents who are fighting…I see you. ❤️

Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook.