To not always believe what the professionals told me. That no one has a crystal ball about his future. That what I am feeling is grief. And grief is love. To let go of the guilt. To focus on self-care earlier. And my marriage. To make finding peace a priority. To not judge my beginnings so harshly. To focus on the good more, even when it is hardest to find. To stand up for myself sooner. To realize that the child I have right now is not the child I…
I think that social media has led us to believe that a lot of families are perfect. I know I follow a few pages that make me feel that way. And sometimes it hurts me heart. My family isn’t perfect. We aren’t even close. We are loud and messy and probably even a little bit annoying. (I say that with the love of a mother.) There are six of us. Two adults. Four little people. And we smile and pose for a photo that will be shared on Facebook. Often…
When my second son Sawyer was three he asked me if we could go to a fair. I of course said…’yes, but we have to wait until summer.’ Per the usual he said to me…’can my brother Cooper go?’ I told him no. His face immediately fell. ‘Cooper can’t go with us, buddy.’ I went onto explain how the fair will be too scary for him. ‘Too many sounds and people for Cooper.’ He thought about that for a minute and then looked up at me and said….’is that because…
Today I went on a walk with my son. That sounds like such an ordinary thing to do. However, to me it was really special. My son is 18 years old. He is busy with all the things that teenager’s do. Getting him to stop long enough to utter more than a few words to me is rare. My youngest child had just left on the bus for school. It was beautiful overcast morning temperature in the low 70s. I decided instead of my normal five mile walk that I…
Last night we brought our four kids to a greenhouse to pick out pumpkins. Our middle son was very excited. He loves all things holidays. He also loves overdoing things, much like his mama. 17 pumpkins seems totally reasonable to us. And the little ones, they were in heaven too. Our older son Cooper, well, he was along for the ride. Pumpkins aren’t really his jam. That is until he realized that the green house had Christmas trees. So many Christmas trees. He immediately gasped and brought his hands to…
Hi there. My name is Kate. I am a mother to four children. I share that because my life is full. Fuller than full. There is very little quiet. There is never a day without laundry. And I get no less than a hundred hugs a day. I am an expert in putting bandaids on owies, blowing on mac and cheese, and finding blankets before bed. Skills I never knew would be so important and vital to life. My first born, Cooper, is twelve. He will be 13 in 55…
Dear Autism, I never wanted you, yet here you are. Over the years we’ve grown to have a love-hate-love relationship. You’re always at the forefront of our lives. You and all your comorbidity friends; ADHD, anxiety, ticks, eating struggles, language delays, epilepsy and intellectual disability. Just to name a few. So many days I just want to give you the big ol’ bird and say F YOU!! Scream in your face and tell you how much I hate you. I hate watching my child struggle with all these things and…
“Keep an eye on your brother.” I blurted it out without much consideration, absorbed in the chaos of managing my children on my own. The words were meant for my 5-year-old daughter regarding her 8-year-old brother. Their dynamic is far from typical because my son is autistic. He often requires reminders to stay safe as his attention can be fickle. We were at soccer practice, and I was setting up camp chairs. Fearing my son might wander off, his little sister listened and went over and held his hand, a…
This morning, while drinking my coffee, I saw a commercial. It was for some insurance company. Perfect family, house and kids. The oldest graduating from high school. The tag line said something like…”these are the moments we prepare for. The only moments that matter.” I’ve been thinking about it all day. My mind keeps going back to it. The only moments that matter… First day of school. Getting a driver’s license. Graduation. A college acceptance letter. First job. A promotion, Marriage. Babies. Retirement. But what if a person doesn’t achieve…
My daughter, Alyssa has autism. She has severe non verbal autism. This means her autism comes with all the bells and whistles. She has severe anxiety, apraxia, limited diet, OCD like behaviors, weak receptive language, difficulty communicating, regulating emotions, and a hard time deviating from her routine or what is expected. She is autistic. It is not who she is. It is not all she is. It is however a part of her. A huge part. It is like the colors of the rainbow, it encompasses her. It is everywhere…
