We have two boys – just 15 months apart. Usually when I tell someone this, I get comments like how lucky – they will be BEST friends. Do they get along? Do they fight a lot? I bet they keep you busy. Well, the last of these statements is certainly true but the others – I never thought it was possible but I think maybe we’re getting there. They are now 12 and 10. Our younger son has pretty severe/ nonverbal autism and his big brother is as “typical” as…
Last night, my five-year-old graduated from preschool. It was a super big deal in our world. He wore a cap and gown. He practiced a song for weeks in the car, the shower and before bed. His grandparents came to the ceremony. He stood in front with the other kids and got his diploma. Jamie and I sat and watched. My baby boy. Achieving milestones. Growing up. Now, we prepare for Kindergarten. We will set a day for school shopping. We will pick out his backpack and supplies. We will…
I’ve always wanted to be a mom. For as long as I could remember, I’ve dreamt of having kids of my own and having a big family. When my husband and I got pregnant not too long after getting married, we were ecstatic. We found out we were having a boy! My husband, being the sports enthusiast that he is, was thrilled as well. We dreamed of everything we would do with him, all the things typical boys would love. Dawson was born and he was perfect. When he was…
One thing I’ve learned as the mother to an autistic child, is that when your child has self-injurious behaviors, you’ll never be able to describe the feeling accurately. I’ve also learned that if a person doesn’t know what you’re going through, you’ll never be heard accurately. Any time that I have thought I might open up and share the fear, frustration, sorrow and deep gut wrenching pain, I’ve learned that unless a person has lived it as a parent or caregiver, they can never understand. Sometimes you get even worse,…
Yesterday, there was a beautiful noise at our house. One that seemed out of place. One that we rarely hear. One that for years was hard to produce. It was the deep, loud, silly, belly laugh of Cooper playing in a pool with his brother and his brother’s friends. He was in there for three hours total. He was one of the kids. I have never seen a happier child. Or heard a better laugh. We are talking pure joy. As I watched him play, I was overcome with emotion.…
Some of my favorite stories involve the relationships between fathers and sons. I lost my own father when I was 15 to lung cancer. My dad was my best friend. Don’t get me wrong, he could be a very difficult man. He was very old school. I would not be surprised to learn that he was probably bi-polar. He did not have the greatest upbringing. But it is funny. Although he was old school, unlike a lot of father’s from the baby boomer generation, he was very affectionate. Not a…
Today, I picked up my five year old son with autism from preschool, screaming, hyperventilating, and distraught. His one and only best friend decided he didn’t want to play with Jackson today. He’d found other friends he’d rather play legos with. That amazing friend is so wonderfully typical. Jackson didn’t understand the simplicity and normality of his sweet friend’s behavior. You see, my sweet, friendly, lover of life and all people in it, son, enjoys being around ALL children. But he will forever be the person to truly appreciate and…
I stumbled across a poem on Pinterest today by Terri Banish. It is titled, ‘I Still Would Have Chosen You.’ I read it. And I read it again. And again. And immediately burst into tears. Every word was perfect. I used to talk about the hard parts of severe autism with strangers. At work. Or with someone I met out. These were nice people that didn’t live in my world. They had no idea. And while they usually were absolutely wonderful, they just didn’t understand. I’d notice as I was…
Before having children, my husband and I would talk about how many little feet we would like to have running around the house. Many times we would agree on two children…healthy of course. However, every now and I then I would get the urge to want to have three even four. I envisioned them all growing up together, playing sports, sharing friends and even overcoming the inevitable life challenge as a unit or team. After a healthy, uneventful pregnancy, our Jack entered the world. He was perfect. There were some…
Last week, my five-year-old son Sawyer spent four days with his grandparents and his cousin. They fished, swam, biked and lived the cabin life. I was so excited for him to go and have fun. One of my worries and honestly, very real realities, is that he misses out on things. Having a sibling with special needs can do that. There is no sugar coating it. As parents to our children, we kill ourselves, and stretch ourselves way too thin, to make sure our children are getting what they need.…
