A few years ago, when we started to notice that our other son Sawyer was feeling the unique stresses of having a brother with autism, I started taking him out for breakfast every Wednesday. No matter what we wouldn’t miss. It was our time to chat and relax and eat doughnuts! We both looked forward to it. I remember distinctly thinking…I’ve never done anything like this with Cooper. And I might never. My son Cooper had never asked me to go anywhere. He was seven years old at the time.…
I guess you don’t remember when it was just you and me. A time before having a sibling to share the attention that you so desperately craved. We had two years alone together, you and I. We would read endless books together because it was your favorite thing to do. We would go for walks, to playgrounds, to play places, to restaurants. We were out in the world and we loved exploring it. I would marvel at each new thing that you learned. I would watch with a heart full…
The other day I ran into an old friend at Target. I hadn’t seen her in ages. It was the same old story. Kids, jobs, chaos and time just slipped away. Before we knew it a year had past since we last spoke. We decided to stretch our time at Target and grab a coffee and chat. One of the reasons that this friend and I initially bonded is because we both have kids on the spectrum. We met at an advocacy event and connected immediately. Both our boys were…
Dream Night at the Minnesota Zoo is my most favorite event ever. Every year I leave feeling humbled, thankful and so happy to see so many families just like ours. There is no walking on eggshells. There is no worrying that people are judging us. There is no panicking when our kid runs or flaps or melts down. Instead, it’s beautiful children and amazing parents, caregivers, grandparents, therapists and others who live in our world. The boys each had a blast. Cooper spent his time running and looking for penguins!…
Here is the photo that means so much to Jamie and I. We take nothing for granted because we know how hard our son works to do tasks that seem so simple to the world. It’s not as simple as going to church. It’s pressure. It’s putting on special clothes. Riding to a new place with his personal care attendant. Walking into a building. Staying calm with noisy people. Smiling for photos. We practiced for months. We worked on skills every single day. It’s a pretty big deal. And in…
I have four kids and I love being a mom, all my kids are so unique and loved! But from the moment I got pregnant with my first child, I felt God let me feel his heart for my daughter in a extra special way. I felt like she was a worshipper and her heart was going to be connected to God in a super special way. I have a memory when I was in the beginning of labor with her, I looked up after a contraction to see tears in…
As a mom to a child with autism, I have many fears about the world we live in. I worry about children bullying him. I worry about his safety. I worry about him being targeted for emotional, physical or even emotional abuse. I worry about so many things. I’m his mom. That’s my job. But honestly, never have I worried about something like this story. A father is expressing disbelief this week after his fifth-grader, who is autistic, was given a trophy dubbing him the “most annoying male” for the…
Twenty years…How can it be two decades since you came into this world with a hail storm in June? No kidding. On June 4, 1999 my sweet Jake was making his debut into this world unremarkable, when somewhere around 4:15pm, the sky got dark, and as everyone in the room noticed began to peer out the window, a hail storm came, with thunder and lightening… Then, the sun came out, and minutes later you were born…my sweet, Jake Timothy Helms was born, 4:40pm 9 lbs 3 oz.. On that very…
A lot of parents ask me about medications. Is our son on them? What specifically are you treating? Do they work? Side effects? What’s the biggest change you’ve see with them? They ask because they need help helping their child. It’s as simple as that. They aren’t lazy parents. They aren’t giving up. They’ve tried the therapies. They’ve researched. They’ve advocated. They’ve done more than they every thought possible. And their child still needs more. Maybe it’s with anxiety. Or with ADHD. Or even depression. And let me be clear…
When I look at the toughest times in my life… My miscarriage. When my son was diagnosed with autism. When I was struggling with my marriage. Occasional money troubles. Losing people I love. I see a few common themes. One…I had no one to talk too. And two…I tried to pretend I was fine. I tried to rush through the hard. I had no one in my life that was going through similar issues. Or if they were…I had no idea. Because I was too afraid to talk about my…
