Even before my son Johnny was diagnosed my life has been all about autism. Trying to somehow figure it out so I could help my son. At first it was asking questions, then it became looking for help, and now it’s fighting for him. Sometimes I forget that everyone doesn’t know about autism. I forget because we live in a world where everything is catered to us. All my social media knows I talk a lot about autism. My ads are all supplements that are supposed to help my child,…
Early this morning our daughter came into our room, hopped into bed next to me, and began working on her intricate mindfulness sticker book. I watched as she elaborately and precisely filled out each piece of the picture, quicker than I ever could. A beautiful sight. I said “good morning, sweetie”, but did not get a noticeable response. Craving interaction, I asked her what she was making a picture of in her book. Sadly, again there was no response. So, I re-asked, even more enthusiastically— still no response. Then I…
It’s different. It’s difficult. It’s beautiful It’s gut wrenching. It’s time. It’s heart. It’s patience. It’s anxiety. It’s depression. It’s love. It’s overwhelming. It’s grace. It’s tears. It’s joy. It’s appreciation. It’s lonely. It’s surprising. It’s constant. We set out on this journey six years ago (officially)…should have been sooner but doctors drag their feet. Obtaining a diagnosis requires you to spit fire until someone gets sick of you banging their door down. The therapy is prescribed but the centers won’t take you until the child is three because otherwise…
Right after we moved into our current home, I registered to attend several open houses for homeschool co-ops and tutorials in this area. I will never, for as long as I live, forget one specific open house. As one of the teachers shared her plans for the fall semester, she referenced the potential number of students in her classroom based on the current number of interested families. “We have seven students…” she began. That number didn’t include Milo. I’d attended the open house with a friend who also had a son with special needs. That number didn’t include her child, either. Another teacher…
What is bravery? I’ve been thinking about that question lately. The definition is the quality or state of having or showing mental or moral strength to face danger, fear, or difficulty. It goes onto give examples of a brave firefighter. A brave nurse. A brave athlete. And no doubt, yes, they are brave. They face burning buildings and medical tragedies and catch the winning pass. They do things I could never do. They are brave. But I think about bravery in another way too. Imagine going out into a world…
Last week I posted a selfie of my son Tommy and I happily snuggling up on the sofa on Facebook and received some lovely comments and messages. Some of my followers on my blog, Stories About Autism, mentioned how happy I looked, how content, as if a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. In fact it couldn’t be further from the truth. Whilst yes, in that moment I was definitely happy, the last few months have been increasingly tough, and I just haven’t felt myself. I thought that once…
To the woman who stayed… A week or so ago I found myself in a pretty tough situation out in the community. We were at an orchard with our family and friends. My son Cooper decided he was done. He was done with the apples and the tractors and the noise and sounds. And walking. Which is fine. He had done amazing. Except we were a mile away from the exit. His decision came out of nowhere. And we were stuck. My sweet misunderstood boy is 9 years old. Almost…
Lately, I’ve been sharing a lot of firsts for my son Cooper. Tonight, was the biggest one yet. He and I sat and watched an hour long flag football game together. He sat. He watched the timer. (Two 25 minute half’s is a long time!) He waved at his brother who was playing. He held my hand. He asked my 486 times for trains. And we were present. Together. A family of five. This wasn’t just any first. This was a first we have worked towards every day of his…
Yesterday I interviewed my dear friend Leasa of Cody Speaks. If you don’t follow her you should. Her son Cody is 20. He loves videos and the mail. His autism was discovered when he was 17 months old. And he started talking at 9 years old. When she said that on the live, comments immediately came in asking what she did. What is the magic thing that got him to start talking? I understand because when I found Leasa and Cody, I asked the same question. My son was 7…
Psst, hey. Look at me, I’m over here. Come close. I want to tell you something. You won’t win today. To be honest, I haven’t really noticed you in a while. I almost forgot about you. It seemed like the medicine was working and my son Jack was calmer and a little less agitated. Then, just last month, you returned with a vengeance—all ragged cuticles and sleepless nights. Anxiety. You would think I’d be used to you by now—that I could anticipate your next move, and figure out a solution,…
