This too shall pass. There is a saying that is said at one time or another to every parent. This too shall pass. I remember being told those words as I held each of my newborns, exhausted from cluster feeding and lack of sleep. Again during the never ending messes that kids make. During potty training woes and tantrums over blue cups and the wrong shoes. And I guess in most cases it’s true right? The hard moments do pass. Usually. Babies start sleeping. Messes stop. Little humans learn to…
A few holidays ago, a friend and I were chatting, when she said it. ‘That’s so retarded’ in reference to something happening in her life. At first I was floored. I hadn’t heard anyone say that word in I don’t know how long. She wasn’t done though. The story went on. She described a place and people. As I listened to her, waiting to see if she’d notice my face, I thought about how she is an educated woman. She is a kind woman. She is not malicious or evil.…
I’ve heard people refer to special needs kids as the “forgotten ones” during this global pandemic. They cannot do virtual school, computers don’t make sense to them. School is school and home is home. You don’t do home at school, and you definitely don’t do school at home. Toddlers with special needs desperately need the social skills and therapies in order to learn, or in some cases learn how to learn. Older students desperately need vocational and daily living skills in order to be ready to leave school. These things…
I do not have autism. I am not autistic. But my son is. And watching and learning from him has been one of the greatest gifts life has given me. He has taught me to slow down. He has taught me to prioritize. He has taught me what is important and what truly matters. He has even shown me the good in this world. And the bad that is out there. This is how he greets every member of our family after school. He doesn’t have words. Just actions and…
My Beautiful boys, You are worth the fight. I am sorry life is hard for you. That I have to fight so hard for you. It is not the fight I am sorry for, because I would fight for you everyday of my life willingly and proudly. I am sorry because if I do not fight for you, you would have much less then you have now. If I do not speak up and be your voice, then you would not be heard. If I sit silent you will be…
I know how you feel. I feel it too. It can be exhausting caring for your child with special needs. Every mom feels worn down, but this “tired” feeling you and I feel is much greater. This word “tired” for us means way more than the lack of sleep. Every minute of every day there is worry. Worry that your child’s school might call you again. We worry about when the next meltdown will occur and what set it off. We worry about how our child is feeling because they…
Before my daughter was diagnosed the world of special needs was unknown to me. When I dreamed of motherhood being a special needs parent never crossed my mind. Suddenly I joined a club I never thought I would be a part of. Special needs terrified me. Just those two words sent chills down my spine. It was a world I knew nothing about. And then a picture will come across my memories newsfeed and it suddenly pulls me back to the days prior to being a special needs parent. I…
I wish I could feel things the way you do, my sweet boy. I want to understand. I didn’t know sound could physically, deeply hurt until you showed me. I see you fold your precious ears in on themselves, an attempt to mute the overwhelming world. That doesn’t usually work though. So, you quietly, nervously, moan. This slowly grows in intensity and frequency until your shrieking blocks out the unwanted sound or it’s removed. Whichever comes first. I want to explain to others how you feel inside during these moments.…
Mama, what is a family? A family? Well, my child A family is at once The easiest And the hardest Thing to build Think of it as a garden Maybe you expected rows and rows of neat tulips Standing straight and tall in their church pews Eating organic apples and placing the cores neatly in the trash can Instead, you have a field full of wildflowers Colorful, shrieking wildflowers Who eat your leftovers with their fingers And leave gum wrappers all over the house It was not supposed to be…
I look into his blue eyes and tried to find some common sense, some meaning in them. Some hidden reason why he was hitting his head with his hands, over and over. Some deep psychology as to why he was screaming. Some reason why, why did he do this. But instead I find silence. There is no panic in this boy’s eyes. No desperate urges. No curiosity. No hint that he is conscious and knows what is going on. At all. Many people say to me, after finding out about…
