Dear Boardman Board of Education, Which kid would have mattered to you? Which kid in your eyes would have made the staple to their head be classified as abuse? My fear is the incident in Boardman, Ohio is setting an example that abuse is only abuse when it happens to a certain kid. So, as a sibling to a brother with a disability, a parent of two boys, and a former special education teacher – I ask, which kid needs to have a note stapled to their head for it…
The one person who has been part of my life for the past 12 years is my husband. The story goes like this…he was a small-town boy and I was a small-town girl. We met at a small-town church. We knew each other way before we started officially dating. He always had an eye for me, but I wasn’t quite so sure that I was interested at the time. Although, I quickly found out after I gave him a chance that he was the kindest person. He would do anything…
Dear Mom and Dad, It’s nearly February when families will take down the snowmen scenes and begin decorating their home with red and pink hearts to symbolize the month of love. This year as we enter into the month, I realize, no symbol expresses or explains the love you have shown and continue to show me. About a year and a half ago, you gave up your dream, the one you worked your entire adulthood for, to help in mine. My dream of being a mom. It hasn’t gone quite…
To truly know what a special needs life is, you have to have a deep understanding of it. You have to see it in every way and every aspect. It has to be your life. As the younger sister of Nick Boarman, 36 year-old Amanda Owen has known special needs life her entire life. At Nick’s six month check-up the doctor told their mother, Sharon Boarman, that Nick had a rare chromosomal disability. The Syndrome was so rare that there were only ten other cases at that time and those…
What is love, “a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.” Love comes in many forms. As a child, we think of the soft, tender love that sits amongst family. As an adolescent, we think of our rich friendships that are filled with late-night talks. As adults, we think of our romantic relationships that form foundations of growth, beauty, and struggle. The choice to love not found in common ties of biology is where I often land when thinking about love. I found pieces of myself in each person who…
From the minute you become a parent, the overwhelming fear and concern sets in. You constantly question whether every choice or decision you make on your child’s behalf is the right one. When your child has special-needs, the endless self-doubt triples. The options for schooling seldom are plentiful or a perfect fit, so when an appropriate placement is agreed upon, it is not done without careful planning and discussion among all involved. As the start of each school year draws closer, I often think to myself “I hope Skyler doesn’t become the…
Hi. My name is Carrie. I have five kids, and my second son has autism. His name is Jack. Jack is sixteen years old now. Theoretically, he is a junior in high school. Theoretically, he can drive a car. Theoretically, he should be studying for the SAT’s and maybe looking at colleges and trying to decide what the next chapter of his life may hold. There is nothing theoretical about autism though. That’s the thing. Autism is a concrete set of symptoms that, like a set of parentheses around a…
There is a term I like to use. It’s blissfully unaware. It’s a place and feeling rolled into one. Many of us do this at different times in our lives. We live blissfully unaware. For example, I knew nothing of the emotional pain of a miscarriage until I lost my first baby. I knew nothing of the worry that comes with a child that isn’t developing typically until it was my own son. I knew nothing of the cruelness and brutality of cancer until it took my stepmom. I knew…
Every morning I wake up to messages from people. Most are well-meaning. Many are kind. A few are awful. Some are bizarre. And some, tell me how to raise my son. And how I’m doing it wrong. They tell me what I should be doing, how I can do it better, and what I can and cannot say about him. I’ve gathered a list of what I cannot say. I cannot say he has autism. Or is autistic. I can’t say he is nonverbal or nonspeaking. I can’t say he…
I entered the world of special needs when my son was three months old. He is a twin and his brother also has special needs, they were premature. Lucas developed an airway disorder called Laryngomalacia when he was a few weeks old. When this happens, you can hear your baby breathing from across the room. They also can turn blue and stop breathing. They may also require oxygen and other life saving measures. It can be terrifying. We figured out at 3 months from tests, that he was aspirating his…
