There’s a saying we’ve all heard before ‘behind closed doors’. It alludes to not knowing the entire story since there is something being handled in private. I suppose being the parent of a special needs child is much like that. We tend to lead two very separate lives. And sometimes we do it so efficiently and effortlessly so many are none the wiser. It doesn’t happen overnight. We slowly seem to adapt and overcome, but are we? For years my husband worked at a local prison that was close to…
You don’t understand how hard it is to let go of my child’s hand in the morning and hand him over to you. You don’t know how long it took me to make this decision…to let him ride the bus. Some may say it’s brave or courageous to trust another with your child’s life. I sometimes think it can be daring but also really unwise. In today’s world we live in, we must worry about things that could happen. Yes, I understand it’s hard for most parents to watch their…
Are you walking into a new world of special needs parenting for the first time? Are you a few years in and finding things hard to manage right now? Or are you the parent who has walked this path and is now looking ahead at what services are there for your child’s future? Here are some gems of advice that I have received from others who have walked this path alongside me, before me, and some of my own. Advocacy Can Come in Many Forms If you are the loud…
I think about the beginning sometimes. When I first heard the word autism. It was in a lunch-and-learn at the nonprofit I worked at. I was eating a sandwich, minimally paying attention, when the woman started describing signs of autism in toddlers. As she ticked off a list of traits, I did everything I could to keep my cool. The only sign of my internal panic being the flush that turned my cheeks and neck a deep red. I could feel the heat radiating from my face. She was describing…
To the woman I saw crying in the parking lot of the OBGYN’s office this morning: I saw you in the waiting room first. Maybe even before you saw me. You were sitting to my right. I noticed you because your partner was sitting next to you and I haven’t seen a man in the waiting room since before covid. Something that has been hard honestly. Having a support person at baby appointments, whether it be your husband, boyfriend, mom, dad, whomever, is comforting. Looking back though, seeing you with…
All three of my boys have fallen in love with random objects throughout their life. And also, slept with them. Cooper used to sleep with 8×10 photos of our family. And puzzles. And 12 blankets. Sawyer used to sleep with you swords and nerf guns. He also wore a swimsuit every day for over a year. His reasoning, he wanted to be ready to go swimming if someone asked. And Harbor? Well, he has been known to sleep with monster trucks, Nerf Guns, a hockey stick, shovels, bey blades, and…
Progress over Perfection. That’s a phrase I think about a lot. In the most challenging years of our son’s life, post autism diagnosis, it felt like we were frozen in time. Or moving backwards even. But never forward. Our son was in pain, but we didn’t know why or what. He didn’t sleep or communicate. He hurt himself and us. He rarely smiled. For years it seemed like he wasn’t made for this big, confusing world. And to top it off, the world didn’t seem to want him either. But…
Without the voices of strong autistic women in our community and the support of women like my mom, I wouldn’t be the person I am today. I was recently contacted by an autism mom who told me about her 30-year-old autistic daughter who is about to have a baby. She said that she was proud of me for using my voice as a public speaker and self-advocate to spotlight others. If you are reading this, I don’t know why, but this instinctively made me think of Women’s History Month and…
I’m going to tell you a not-so-secret secret. I have made some mistakes over the years in my parenting journey. Shocker, right? Not really I suppose. There are no perfect parents, and this stuff is hard. I have three boys. They are 10, 8, and 2. I also am 28 weeks pregnant with a baby girl. Life is about to get a whole lot crazier. My ten-year-old has autism and on paper is nonverbal. My 8-year-old is my emotional guy. And the toddler, don’t even get me started on him.…
Hi. My name is Carrie Cariello. I am married to a man named Joe. We have five children, and our second son, Jack, has autism. Nearly seventeen years ago, I gave birth to a baby boy with a neurological disorder. It impacts the way he eats, sleeps, talks, and thinks. Autism is a little like the ocean. One moment, the waves are calm, and quiet. You admire their wide blue solace. But in the blink of an eye, it changes. The water becomes turbulent, and chaotic. Every once in a while, I wonder…
