Fifth grade holiday concert. I found the perfect soft corduroy pants with a hidden elastic waistband and comfy red pullover that you will tolerate. We rehearsed the songs endlessly at home for weeks. You teacher assured me you have been practicing the song all week in the gymnasium and will have a para escorting you through the whole program. We anxiously wait in the audience – a sea of parents with cellular cameras and camcorders rolling. Maybe I can get a good shot of you to put on the holiday…
See that boy on the left? The one in blue… He is 8 years old. He is in 2nd grade. At least once a week he tells me he can’t wait to be a grown up so he can ride dirt bikes and do whatever he wants. But he also reminds me he is never moving out. He plans to live in the backyard. We had his school conference last night. His teacher told us all about his test scores for math. We talked all about developing skills versus proficient…
As I near my due date with my fourth baby, and slowly lose my mind daily with the three I already have, I find myself thinking a lot about mothering. And all that goes into it. Here are a few of the things I’ve learned along the way: 1. Having children is like having the worst roommates sometimes. They move your stuff, eat your food, and leave dishes all over the house. Try to remember though that messes clean up. 2. Your children can be just like you, or polar…
Caption this photo! We stayed in a cabin for a few days and the boys were absolutely fascinated and intrigued by this contraption. Also, the real reason I’m sharing this photo is to brag on this kid. Waiting is one of the most fundamentally important skills we learn as we age. Waiting is a skill that has never come naturally to Coops. Sitting. Standing still. All so important. For us, from the day Cooper could walk, he was running. He ran into streets. He ran out doors. He ran towards…
There’s a viral article out that highlights a young man (Ryan Lowry) in Virginia on the autism spectrum who has penned his own letter to a future employer asking for an opportunity to work. He highlights the wonderful IT skills he has to offer any company. He also points out where he needs mentoring. But if given the opportunity, he knows he can contribute to any company willing to work with him. “I promise that if you hire me and teach me, you’ll be glad that you did. I will…
People who follow me make a lot of assumptions about our family and these boys. It’s interesting, funny, even upsetting to read them. People assume that Cooper, and ultimately autism, is a hardship. People assume the younger two are neglected because they see Cooper get attention in a 4 minute video. I could go on and on. We are on a spring break two night vacation. Because flying isn’t an option for us we went to northern Minnesota. The day before we left it was 65 degrees. The day we…
I’ve heard countless stories from parents of adult disabled children about the prognosis and future predictions they were given. And not a lot of them were good. Parents were told to institutionalize their babies. Even, ‘go home, try again.’ And one, ‘forget about this one, have another.’ It was no different for Dick Hoyt and his wife Judy in 1962 when their son Rick was born. Rick was diagnosed as a spastic quadriplegic with cerebral palsy, as a result of oxygen deprivation to Rick’s brain at the time of his…
I can vividly remember taking my autistic son, Johnny to the park when he was four years old. As I pushed the double stroller with him and his baby sister through the park entrance my heart sank as our usually pretty empty park was full of children and parents. Johnny was excited, and there was no turning back. I had to let him play for at least a little while. As he darted off to play I quickly strapped the baby to me and followed him like a shadow. Sometimes…
I’m a firm believer in finding your tribe. For me that is the autism parenting community. In the middle of pandemic this has been an extra challenge. But I never imagined that I’d find my tribe all across the country. I wasn’t in a great place last year when Covid happened. So many things were happening and then all of a sudden the world stopped. During that time I enjoyed the extra hands of help that my husband brought. But being unable to go anywhere made life hard. Luckily, while…
I’ve been replaying the past year in my head over and over a lot lately. A whole year consumed by covid. What a whirlwind. What a ride. This crazy virus consuming a large portion of our time and energy. It’s been fast and it’s been slow. There has been so much confusion intermingled with delicate moments of pure clarity. It’s been a year of more anger and separation in our world, yet one of so much love and community. There’s been stress. Anxiety. And so much change. Pivoting on a…
