My son Jack has autism. He was born on Mother’s Day, in 2004. Over the past sixteen-almost-seventeen-years, I have had to tell and re-tell his diagnosis so many times, I’ve lost count. By now, I’m pretty sure I’ve heard it all when it comes to autism. I’ve heard about the vaccines, and the poor maternal bonding, and the gluten and the horse therapy. One kindly older woman even suggested Windex could be to blame. Windex? I thought. The problem is, can be hard to know what to say, or how to…
When my son was diagnosed with autism at age three, I will admit I didn’t know a lot about it. I was told a lot of things of course and many of them weren’t positive. But that didn’t stop us from believing in him and his success. Cooper is now ten years old and truly an amazing kid. As he’s gotten older, and the teenage years are not far off, our goals for him have shifted. Where it used to be a lot of academic things, now our goals for…
How many times have I watched from a distance, mostly from behind a screen, as special needs parents spent weeks or even months in the hospital with their child, and I’ve thought, “gosh, that’s got to be hard.” I had a limited understanding of how difficult an ordeal like that could be because my 16 year old son Luke has been extremely healthy for many years; healthy until last year when we spent 6 weeks in ICU with him after his shunt malfunctioned and then became infected after a new…
Happy Autism Awareness Month! I know the calendar has become saturated with bizarre days of observation, from National Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day, to International No Diet Day, to National Margarita Day (not mad about that one). But I happen to think a month to promote acceptance of people with autism and inspire a kinder world is worthwhile occasion. You probably know someone who’s autistic. Lucky you! I’ll always celebrate Autism Awareness Month because my littlest man, Rhys (pronounced “Reece,” like Reece Witherspoon), is autistic and very much deserves a month dedicated to…
See that voicemail from my dad? I just saw that it was there. I didn’t know until a few minutes ago. I find as my kids get older, and use my phone to watch videos, I lose track of people trying to contact me. The messages and voicemails build up without me knowing and when I finally look I feel terrible. Except that wasn’t the case this time. My dad called me last Tuesday afternoon. I sent him to voicemail because I was busy at the time. I was on…
I had the absolute honor of sitting down and chatting with an amazing adult advocate last week to talk about her diagnosis, her challenges growing up, and her successes in adulthood. Midway through the interview she said something that resonated deeply with me. ‘Children and adults with disabilities are judged by their hardest days. Their hardest moments. That’s what the world talks about and remembers us by.’ How true is that? My son is 10 years old. When he was diagnosed with autism at age 3, and later as his…
I spent the last few days in the hospital with my dad. He is 79. When we are young we think our parents are invincible. We never pause to think that they are getting older. Until they do. Growing up, my dad always seemed so tall. So big. So calm. His motto throughout life has always been, ‘be kind.’ I can remember him saying it to me from a very early age. I never truly understood it’s importance until I had kids of my own. He knew all along. As…
One of the things I am practicing lately is reflection. Specifically, reflecting on how much has changed over the years. And how far our family has come. See that boy on the right with the amazing smile and giant yellow egg? His name is Sawyer and he was 4 years old. He is 8 years old now. And this is one of my most favorite pictures of him. It was Easter morning. I remember that Easter vividly. I remember handpicking every item for my boy’s baskets. I remember hiding every…
Back when I was new to mothering, and new to autism, and also new to challenges outside of my control, I would spend a lot of time wondering and worrying. Wondering why it was so hard and worrying that it would be hard forever. Maybe that’s wrong, I guess I don’t know. That was my path. The why’s would consume me if I let them. Just like the hard moments that accompanied a little boy who struggled in this world. I would dwell on them, long after they were over.…
Five years ago I became a teacher; five years ago I also became the mother to a son in heaven. August 12th, 2016 I came home from my first new teacher work day. It was exhilarating, and exciting, and for the first time in a long time, I knew I was exactly where I should be. I had no idea that a few short hours later I’d find myself in the hospital in preterm labor with our first child. That same day, we lost our son, Jaxon, at only 21…
