Posts by Kate Swenson
We are Just More
You Must Be Sad… I’ve heard and read that phrase a few times over the past couple weeks. You must be sad your son rides the shorter bus… You must be sad he’s not in the gen ed room at school… And the zinger, the one I felt like a shot was fired and received, you must be sad you will never have a normal life… These statements, they don’t necessarily come from a place of hate or anger. They come from a place of misunderstanding. They simply don’t understand.…
Read MoreBuild a Life that Works for Your Family
It may not get easier, and some things may not get better, but you have the power to create a world that works for your family. I wish someone would have told me that when my son was first diagnosed with autism. Because, initially, and in the challenging years that followed, I will admit that we felt stuck in a lot of ways. We couldn’t do this or that. Like go to restaurants or church or fly on an airplane, go for walks, visit the mall. We said no to…
Read MoreI Will Give Him a Magical Life
Last night something monumental happened in our little world. Our middle son Sawyer had a gaggle of friends over playing and as they ran from room to room, crashing and bashing and giggling about farts and butts, our oldest son Cooper ran behind. He was the oldest of the whole group on paper. The big brother and yet not. He will be 11 in a few months. But he has no interest in Nerf Guns or ninja warrior games. He doesn’t acknowledge the coolest shoes or ask for a cell…
Read MoreI Wonder with Excitement
When my son Cooper was first diagnosed with autism, and in the beginning years that followed, I’d spend a lot of time secretly wondering what our relationship would be like. I was told he would never be able to talk. Or live independently. And a whole lot of other things as well. And I’d wonder. And worry. Would we ever have a conversation? Would we ever go grab dinner together at a restaurant? Go to his first concert? And so on. I’d wonder while driving and studying him in the…
Read MoreVitamins to Help Fill the Nutritional Gaps of our Picky Eaters, Autism Included
If you are a parent you know that many kids have food aversions and sensitivities. This is especially true for kids on the spectrum. And it’s so much more than a child being a picky eater. Tastes, textures, smells, new foods, and more can make meal time a nightmare. I experience it with 3 out of my 4 kids and only one has autism so I know that food challenges can be universal. I also know personally that when I eat better, I feel better. I know that water, fruits,…
Read MoreI am an Observer of Autism
I saw something recently that said if you are not autistic you are merely an observer of autism. I absolutely believe this to be true. I do not know what it is like to feel the world as my children do, I am not a martyr because I parent autistic children, and I am not an expert on autism. I observe as my daughter carefully pours sand in her hair not worrying about those around her. I let her do it, even if she is covered in dirt, because it…
Read MoreFocus on the Good
I want to tell you one of the lessons I’ve learned that has helped me be a better parent to my autistic son Cooper. It’s pretty simple really. It’s understanding that he did his best in any situation. It’s listings the positives instead of the negatives. Even if there are only 1 or 2. It’s focusing on the good instead of the bad. Let me explain. Tonight we went to a carnival. All six of us. Our popular social butterfly, our curious wild child, our sweet easy baby, and our…
Read MoreThe Beautiful Gift of Life
We just had one of those great nights. One where you realize what a gift life is. We laughed and giggled on our walk. There was running and teasing and stolen hugs and kisses. There was life. So much beautiful life that I had to pause and say thank you. My oldest son asked for a birthday party and to see a blue whale. All without words. My second oldest rode his dirt bike and climbed trees and tried to convince me that he’s going to be 10 instead of…
Read MoreThe Secret to a Long Marriage
I don’t know a lot about marriage. Even after 13 years I find it to be exasperating most of the time. It feels like work a lot. And I know it shouldn’t be. But with 4 kids, autism, an emotional 8 year old, sports, a toddler, work, and a baby…well, we could very well be speaking different languages most days. But this afternoon, watching my husband get in the pool with 15 rambunctious, crazy, insanely loud boys, I remembered exactly why I married this guy and will gladly spend the…
Read MoreThe Things I’ve Learned
The Things I’ve Learned… When my son was first diagnosed with autism, and in the early years that followed, I tried really hard to fit in. Into the norm. I wanted so badly for my family to be like the other families. But, well, we weren’t. We couldn’t even pretend. Or fake it till we made it. We were different. Our son was different. Those years that we tried to pretend were the worst. It physically hurt sometimes. To see the differences so loudly. Our son is 10 now. On…
Read More