Posts by Kate Swenson
At Your Lowest Point, Have Faith
I should be at church right now. There are a whole lotta reasons why I’m not. Sawyer is at hockey practice with Jamie. I have no one to watch Cooper. I need to pack for our trip and clean our house and grocery shop and make the itinerary for the grandparents. Anyhow, I’m sitting here, drinking coffee, watching two of my boys play, and thinking about faith. It’s no secret that my son is thriving. We’ve figured out how to help him in all the ways that he needs help.…
Read MoreIt’s the Isolation That’ll Get Ya
For me, as a mom, the isolation has always been the hardest part. We couldn’t go anywhere. And I mean anywhere. We couldn’t go to birthday parties, parks, movies, restaurants, Christmas dinner at a friends house, the grocery store or Target. We couldn’t go to gas stations or parades or swimming pools. Parents of older kids told me to keep trying. Keep going. Keep practicing. Leave if it doesn’t work. But it wasn’t the easy. I couldn’t get him out of the car. I couldn’t get him in the building. If…
Read MoreI Need You To Promise Me
A glimpse inside the secret world of special needs parenting: I was packing for my first trip away from my boys in ages. My husband was watching the game. I was mindlessly throwing stuff in a bag. Rushed of course. Drinking a glass of wine. Worrying. Rushing. I was talking through my time away. The schedule and such. Cooper has speech therapy on Tuesday and Friday. Sawyer has hockey on Wednesday and Saturday. Don’t forget Cooper’s meds. The baby has daycare these days. Don’t forget his butt cream. I was…
Read MoreI Will Never Be the Same
Yesterday, I couldn’t get out of bed. I barely willed myself to do the dishes. I can’t explain why. Nothing had really “happened.” There wasn’t some explosive meltdown or feelings of inadequacy. I just got scared. So scared. I remember when I was a child and I would wake up from a bad dream and find myself in between my parents, completely safe and free or fear. Now I find myself in my son’s bed, my body curled next to his, never wanting to let go, knowing every morning I…
Read MoreThank You to our “Graycare” Team
Fall is always a rough time of year for me emotionally and mentally. I know it, I prepare for it, gear up for it and let the chips fall where they may. This year fall has been exceptionally challenging because my son started kindergarten in a new school. His autism and anxiety demand routine. To say this transition has been hard is an understatement. Not to mention that only 6 weeks into the school year his new school has asked us to find a different placement for him (that’s a…
Read MoreThe Things We’re Not Supposed to Say
The things we’re not supposed to say. I brought my son Sawyer to skate night tonight. A school event at a local roller skating rink. There was pizza and music and arcade games. Kindergarten through fifth grade. Families. Siblings. So many kids. I laced up his roller blades and watched him be a little boy. Skating way too fast. Being silly. Telling stories. Playfully pushing friends. Dancing. Doing the limbo. He has a social life. Friends. He’s growing up. As I sat there watching, holding my baby tight, I was…
Read MoreTips for Engaging with my Child during the Holidays
Prior to my son’s diagnosis I knew nothing about autism. Zero. So, I understand completely that most people have no idea how to approach or connect with an autistic child. If autism wasn’t thrown in front of me like a speeding bus, I would be completely oblivious. But it was, and I now have a bus load of experiences that have left me yearning for a world where people take more time to get to know the children in their lives who have disabilities. Most people are friendly. They say…
Read More14 Things that are Ridiculously Hard as a Mother
14 things that I find to be ridiculously, over the top hard, as a mother: Putting eye drops in a child’s eye who refuses to keep their eye open. It is not possible. Nope. By the end of the attempt everyone has pink eye. Wiping a child’s nose and mouth. Or, as I call it, absolute torture. Keeping a hat on a toddler. Enough said. Putting shoes on a child who doesn’t want shoes on. ‘What is happening? Why are you curling your dang toes?’ Getting a child to eat…
Read MoreWhen You Think About Grandpas
When you think about a grandson’s relationship with his grandpa…. I imagine baseballs being thrown. I imagine basketballs being shot. I imagine a little shadow following grandpa around asking nonstop questions. I picture trips to the Dairy Queen for an ice cream cone. I think of hand holding. Snuggling on the couch watching cartoons. Or country westerns. Or the auto channel. In my head I hear stories….‘Back when I was your age.’ I imagine special trips and holidays. I’ll tell you the truth. We got something different. Not less. No…
Read MoreI am a Different Person Since my Son’s Diagnosis
I am sorry I do not return your texts or phone calls. I am sorry I have to cancel last minute or do not make plans as I’ve promised. I’m sorry I am not the same person. Since my son’s diagnosis and his other medical issues, I am not the same person. I have noticed I have lost my spunk. My life is so chaotic. I feel my life is consisted of being on the phone with insurance or doctors. I am traveling to different therapies, five days a week.…
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