It’s the Isolation That’ll Get Ya

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For me, as a mom, the isolation has always been the hardest part.

We couldn’t go anywhere. And I mean anywhere.

We couldn’t go to birthday parties, parks, movies, restaurants, Christmas dinner at a friends house, the grocery store or Target.

We couldn’t go to gas stations or parades or swimming pools.

Parents of older kids told me to keep trying. Keep going. Keep practicing. Leave if it doesn’t work. But it wasn’t the easy.

I couldn’t get him out of the car. I couldn’t get him in the building. If we got inside…he’d run. He’d scream.

He’d be anywhere but where we were supposed to be. Unsafe behavior. Unable to sit or stop moving. It was impossible.

So we stopped trying. For many years.

But we’ve had breakthroughs. We found medications that have helped him manage his anxiety and adhd. The right therapies.

He’s learned to sit. And listen. And stop. He’s starting to be present. And try.

He’s the happiest, most joyful, silly, smart boy. His anxiety has let go of its hold on him. Finally.

Today, we attended a birthday party for a little girl from Cooper’s school. She’s the coolest kid ever. She’s like my Cooper. Pure joy.

Cooper climbed, slid, sat, ate cupcakes, and participated in singing happy birthday. Sawyer built a fort with new friends and the baby slid down his first slide.

We were present. We went to a birthday party. In public. At a busy, loud place. For one of my boy’s friends.

8 long years we waited. Jamie and I have stopped running. We’ve started talking to people. Learning their names. Meeting their kids. All because our son has leaned to sit. And be present.

I never thought the isolation would lift. I never thought we’d make it to the other side. But it slowly is. Like a fog lifting.

We are starting to get a glimpse of the things we dreamed about. Never, ever give up hope.

All three of my boys had so much fun. What a weekend I tell ya. One I dreamed about.

Happy birthday sweet Liz!

Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook, subscribe for exclusive videos, and subscribe to our newsletter.

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Kate Swenson

Kate Swenson lives in Minnesota with her husband Jamie, and four children, Cooper, Sawyer, Harbor and Wynnie. Kate launched Finding Cooper's Voice from her couch while her now 11-year-old son Cooper was being diagnosed with autism. Back then it was a place to write. Today it is a living, thriving community of people who want to not only advocate for autism, but also make the world a better place for individuals with disabilities and their families. Her first book, Forever Boy, will be released, April 5, 2022.

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