Posts by Kate Swenson
Captain’s Log: Day 3, Social Distancing
No one seems to be wearing pants anymore. One is in the hot tub at 8:30 am and is starting to resemble a Frat Boy. One is eating chocolate doughnuts. One is carrying a plunger around and hitting anyone who he comes in contact with. The remotes are missing. Every device is on max volume. Which is almost as annoying as my husband screaming, ‘turn it down, for the love of @#$’, every 30 seconds. The three little ones are always hungry. Always. But seem to hate every food I offer…
Read MoreMy 10 Novel, and Not So Novel, Tips for SUCCESSFUL Self Distancing (survival)
LOCK UP THE PANTRY: Yup, you read that right. If your children are anything like mine, they are always hungry. And on chaotic days with no real rhyme or reason, they tend to be even hungrier. I will find little hoard piles of food throughout my house and wrappers hidden in couch cushions. It makes me crazy. Remove the impulse and lock the food up unless it’s meal time. GET OUTSIDE: Go for a walk. Hunt for rocks or leaves. Set up a trampoline or a water table. Go for a…
Read MoreThe Pause
For the last three and a half years I’ve told you I loved you every night before bed. As a baby I would hold you close in your snuggly swaddle. You eyes would get heavy and your small body would melt into mine. It would feel like an eternity since you hated to sleep. Fear of missing out people would joke. As your beautiful baby blues would eventually close you face would be so peaceful. I would ever so carefully place you in your crib with promises to see you…
Read MoreSometimes Autism Keeps You From Me
I’ve wondered, when did autism purloin you? Did it creep in one night, and snatch the words from your tongue? When did it show up, and make it so hard for you to look at me? I want to hold you. I want to hug you. I want to play with you and sing with you. I want to hear you say you love me… Autism. Sometimes it keeps you from me. You don’t always want to look at me. You don’t always want to be held, or hugged, or…
Read MoreMore Than Just A Word
I find myself talking a lot lately about speaking up for those who cannot speak for themselves. For me it’s personal. I feel things now and see things now in a way I never did before I was a mom, but truthfully mostly before I was Brendan’s mom. I often wish I could scream at the world…don’t you see it, how can you not? And then I remind myself, I didn’t always see it either. And not because I didn’t care. I didn’t see it because it didn’t affect me.…
Read MoreI Hope You Know
My sweet girl, You have no idea how much I love you. But the truth is, I don’t yet know how much you love me either. We are a mommy and daughter communicating in different languages and I am still desperately trying to learn yours. You don’t hug or kiss me yet, but that’s okay. I just want to know…. Do you feel loved when I hug and kiss you? When I smile and tickle you? When I sit and try to play with you? When I sing for you…
Read MoreRemember Today
Dear Mama, Do me a favor, and remember every detail of this day—all of the words, sights, and sounds. Remember the tone of the doctor’s voice, and the way the receptionist smiled. Remember the way your heart hammered in your ribcage when you first heard the sentence. We believe it is Autism Spectrum Disorder. It was raining the day my son Jack was diagnosed. The doctor was very gentle, and kind. He watched Jack whirl and spin around the small room and collapse in tears when he bumped his shin…
Read MoreWe’re Still Blaming Mothers
In the 1950s, it was “refrigerator mother” syndrome. Autism, they said, was the result of a mother’s relational coolness. Today, it’s “toxic mother” syndrome. Autism, they say, is the result of a mother’s toxic burden. I spoke with a homeopath over Skype this week. As I started to tell her a little about my eight-year-old son, who has nonverbal autism, she interrupted me. “You’ve got a face full of acne, eh?” I just stared at the computer screen. “Eh?” she repeated, gesturing to her own face. “Right,” I admitted. “And…
Read MoreFifteen Years of Autism Awareness
I approached this last Autism Awareness Month differently than I have in the past. Somehow, it’s not mine anymore…It’s hers. Don’t get me wrong, I will continue to fight for my daughter, Lizzie, every day, and I will openly share about our lives to help others understand the dire unmet needs of our community. But, experiencing autism for over fifteen years has allowed my emotions to stabilize and a different perspective to set in. This is how my Autism Awareness Day has changed over the years: It has only been…
Read MoreIs My Son Happy?
‘Everyone has a different idea of what happiness looks like.’ Is my son happy? I think about that a lot. As do many parents of children who struggle to communicate. Who can’t show us. For a lot of years I honestly didn’t know the answer to that question. At age five my son didn’t laugh or smile much. He didn’t enjoy leaving our house. At home, he isolated himself a lot. He didn’t play or interact really. He was full of anxiety, only we didn’t know because anytime we asked…
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