Archive for December 2020
Happiness Looks Different for Everyone
A profound moment for our family was letting go of the picture in our head if what it was supposed to look like. Timelines. Must do’s. Picture perfect moments. Obligations. Stress. I suppose you could say expectations too. We let all that go. It was a hard goodbye. Because as people, humans, parents, we have this picture of what life is supposed to look like. We expect certain things. Big and small. We want things to go a certain way. Holidays are a big one. And autism changed them all…
Read MoreWaiting for Christmas
My love for him and my love for the holidays had to be kept separate before this year. My sister and I could hardly sleep on Christmas Eve, we would cuddle up together in our matching pajamas but we were always too excited to sleep. We would wake before the sun, “sneak” down the steps and have paper and presents all over the living room before daylight. My mom made our Christmas so special, year after year. I’ve tried to do the same. I’ve carried on the same traditions. Matching…
Read MoreA Letter of Hope and Inclusion
A beautiful and heartfelt letter. Written to my son by a fellow classmate, a “secret elf.” Dear Ethan, You are a great friend. You fill the class with joy. You make our class better and better. I love that you like dinosaurs. You work so hard. Keep being you. From: Your Secret Elf When I read these words, I see kindness. I see inclusion. I see love. And that last line, “keep being you.” That my friends, is acceptance. The true beautiful meaning of acceptance in its purest form. Another…
Read MoreSome Hope for Christmas
Holidays have always been big in my family. Christmas growing up was always so busy. You see, my parents were divorced. I was always on the go…being with one parent Christmas Eve, the other on Christmas Day, and seeing extended family as we celebrated. I always dreamed of the day I’d have my own family and we could sit and enjoy the holiday, decorating the tree. Being in one place for the whole holiday. Fast forward to now, and my dream Christmas may still never happen. Not because we aren’t…
Read MoreNew Traditions for a New Era
When I was growing up, we celebrated every single holiday and birthday with my extended family. There was a get-together about once a month with at least 20 or so family members. My dad, who’s one of seven siblings, comes from a big Italian family. There was always something to celebrate within the family, which meant we were always together. There were many traditions during the holidays. Three-course meals that included either lasagna or ravioli on Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter. Playing board games and staying up until midnight on New…
Read MoreOur Autism Guide for a Happy Holiday
This time of year, with all of the holidays, is probably one of the toughest times of the year. The frequent change in routine, small bouts of travel, spending hours at a time at other people’s homes (even if it’s a familiar home, like a grandparent’s), change in diet, increase in sugary treats, large groups of people, loud crowds/music, can be overwhelming for Charlie. So for our family and friends, here’s our holiday guide to Autism. Charlie thrives on routine. The hectic holiday schedule can get to be a bit…
Read MoreI Choose to Find the Joy at Christmas
As a child, did you ever wake early with anticipation? Were you one of the children who rushed to see exactly what was under the tree? I was. Patience was never a strong suit and surprises are something I am still not a fan of. In fact, Christmas memories are some of my favorite from my childhood. My mom, her sisters, sometimes her brothers, their spouses and up to 11 kids crammed into one home for up to a week celebrating not only the magic of Christmas but the blessing…
Read MoreIt’s Not About Blame
She paused mid-sentence, an empathetic tone intervening as she spoke words she’d probably uttered a thousand times before to parents throughout the years. She seemed to understand the importance, though…the nuance in her voice conveying the magnitude of her message, while she made certain to catch my gaze and connect, despite the limitations surrounding our telehealth appointment. “Even if we find that there is a genetic explanation for Leo’s Autism and epilepsy, it’s important to note that this isn’t about blame…” Startled by her candidness, I nodded, silently providing acknowledgement…
Read MoreA Christmas Wish from a Stranger
This holiday season we have been touched with the spirit of Christmas by friends and complete strangers. Christmas is a little different for us. My son, Johnny, who is almost 6 and on the autism spectrum, doesn’t ask for toys or say what he wants. He lacks communication skills and understanding. We can go to the store and he may look and touch and couple things, but never says he wants them or tries to take it with him. I’m sure that sounds amazing to many parents, but for me…
Read MoreChristmas; Another Day Passing Us By?
Holidays are fast approaching. And for the past few weeks, my mind has been filled with the excitement and longing for celebration and togetherness. In an ever-changing world that we are a part of, looking forward to something is a must these days. But as the first of the next few major holidays creeps up on our families, a new concept plagues my thoughts. In our area, holiday gatherings are not “banned” but discouraged, as we still reside within a worldwide pandemic. And there’s a very real chance that we…
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