Archive for November 2020
Dear Sawyer
Dear Sawyer, You are seven and I am writing down the stories I want to share with you when you are a grown man. So you know about our secret world. Last night I went to your bedroom to tuck you in but you weren’t there. So, I made my way to your older brother Cooper’s room and saw you holding him. It brought tears to my eyes. The protective way you were holding him was beautiful. He’s been driving you bonkers lately. He has this desire to be near…
Read MoreMy story as a Grandparent of a Child with Autism
When your kids get older and become adults you start to think about what their life will be like. You start asking yourself questions like “who they will marry?”, “how many kids will they have?”, and “did you do a good enough job raising them?” At least these are the thoughts that I had run through my mind as my children began growing up. I had all these thoughts of what their spouse would be like, and how their wedding would be, and if they would always need me or…
Read MoreFrom Prematurity to Thriving
My first son Nicholas was born premature at 35 weeks via emergency C-section due to his lack of movement. I thank God every day that I was aware of his decline in movements in the womb. Nicholas was pretty active during pregnancy, so when I wasn’t feeling him moving around anymore I became concerned. What was once 10-15 movements or kicks every few hours turned into 10-15 a day. I had a pretty good pregnancy up until that point. I didn’t have morning sickness at all, I ate and drank…
Read MoreA Letter to My Wife and All Special Needs Mothers
To the wives, the girlfriends, and the mothers: We haven’t said these three simple words often enough… We see you. From moment one, mother’s of our children, we watch as you push grief to the side and take the lead at the moment of diagnosis. You run like a prized thoroughbred, determined to secure therapies, counselors, and doctors. Searching for the opportunities that will ensure a better life for our babies, despite the chaos. You are miracle workers, moving mountains by sheer will, even when we, the husbands, boyfriends, feel…
Read MoreDear Stranger
Dear Stranger, You have been going to the same coffee shop as my son for a few weeks now. In fact, you have tried to engage and make conversation with him. Two days ago, you found out the reason why he doesn’t answer you, the reason why he struggles to make eye contact with you and the reason he eats the same thing, day in and day out. He has autism and has limited verbal abilities. You were told this information so you didn’t think he was being rude…
Read MoreHis Best Friend
Let me show you the beauty of my son’s world. And how my perspective has greatly changed over the years. A few days ago, Cooper, who is 9, began showing me a still frame of Dora the Explorer on his iPad. Dora happened to be wearing a purple pirate outfit. She was with her crew on a boat. They were making their way to Mermaid Rock. He has showed me Dora and her purple outfit at least a hundred times. Cooper also happens to be nonverbal. Meaning, he can’t necessarily…
Read MoreA Trip to the Zoo
We just returned from an outing with just our older son. It was his day to get spoiled by mom and dad. For the first 9 years of his life he didn’t really care about outings or gifts or getting spoiled. But slowly over time he has started asking us to go places. Some are not doable…if anyone knows how to get Dora the Explorer to our local fire station please let me know. He’s asked my daily for months now. I’m not sure how long…‘mommy’s trying’ is going to…
Read More30 Reasons I’m Grateful I Get to Parent a Child with a Disability
* Because there’s a fierceness in my heart that wasn’t there before. * They’ve taught me what relentless love looks like. * They’ve introduced me to an amazing community of moms and dads who are tender fighters. * They rescued me from a pointless path to pursuing perfection. * They’ve taught me speed isn’t everything. * They’ve taught me to speak up. * Because they give the best hugs. * Through them, I’ve experienced what pure joy is. * They’ve shown me the value in being different. * Because of…
Read MoreThank You For Always Having Your Brother’s Back
To my eldest son, On Monday you asked, “Mummy what is autism like?” I told you my answer, and we sat and watched an animated explanation, showing how your brother sees the world differently to you. As I waited outside the school gates for you yesterday, you saw us and came running up with your arms held wide. “Hello, Rhys” you said, taking your brother’s hand in yours. The cars flew by us on the busy road, and you mentioned the noise and how scary it must be for Rhys,…
Read MoreThe Autism Bomb
Halloween brings back memories… A lesson in labeling our children with special needs. I believe this was just four years ago when peanut was eleven years old and her brother nine. This year it was just us four celebrating the holiday and the kids and I were trick or treating only a few houses down from where I am sitting as I write these words. I was not physically far from them, because I physically do not leave her side for very long, even back then. Always keeping an eye…
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