Archive for September 2019
The Doctor who said, Your Child is the Least of my Concerns
My daughter is autistic and started having seizures at age 11. I remember the day I got the call from the school nurse that she had a seizure in class. I actually expected it at some point due to her neurological issues, so it didn’t take me completely by surprise, but it was terrifying nonetheless. We already had a neurologist so we had the 24 hour EEG right away which confirmed she was having partial complex seizures. The type where you just kind of stare off into space for as little…
Read MoreTo the Man who Saved my Son
There have been many a night that I have relived this terrifying experience over and over. It was two years and three months ago since that fateful day. I want this to be a testament of gratitude to our unspoken hero. Rewind to June 27, 2017. We had just recently brought home our miracle baby. He had defied the odds, being born with severe hypertension, he was unable to breathe on his own. He survived a life flight to get him his lifesaving ECMO treatment. We were early to our…
Read MoreShow your Kids the World
When we bought a house in a neighborhood full of kids I told my husband we are either making the biggest mistake ever…or we are going to change Cooper’s life. At the time, Cooper paid no attention to kids. He hated noise and chaos. He didn’t like a full house. Overnight Sawyer made friends. In and out they came. So many kids Cooper’s age. Older and younger. Our living room and kitchen full of little voices asking for snacks. By the end of day one we found Cooper in the…
Read MoreSpecial Needs Parenting Changes Us Entirely
Special needs parenting changes us entirely. There is no denying that. Because the truth is — the first few years are going to pull you so far away from who you used to be that you won’t even recognize yourself anymore. You’ll find yourself looking in a mirror, bags under your eyes, either heavier, or skinnier, and not recognize yourself. It looks and feels like you’ve aged a hundred years. Or maybe you are standing in a crowded room, feeling entirely isolated and alone, and wonder if you are invisible.…
Read MoreYou Can Feel Sad and Love Simultaneously
You can feel sad about your child’s diagnosis and still love them with every fiber of your being. If you do, I want you to know that you’re not alone in your feelings. It doesn’t make you a bad parent. You may feel powerless, frustrated, and depressed. I know I’ve felt all this and more. I’d kept these feelings to myself for a while because I was ashamed. I was afraid to admit them. I love my son Charlie, so the sadness that engulfed me was confusing. For a long…
Read MoreThe Seventh Year
In church we sing, Let the King of my heart Be the wind inside my sailsThe anchor in my waves…‘Cause You are good You are good, oh oh Oh, He is my song…You’re never gonna letYou’re never gonna let me down – Bethel Music My son, tonight I held you as you stood on a chair in our church. I sang this song to you and you smiled at me. I wondered if you understood that I was worshiping and thanking God for trusting me to be your mom. This song resonates with me…
Read MoreI’m done Apologizing for my Daughter
I don’t know about you, but I’m so tired of apologizing… I’m tired of apologizing for things I cannot control. I’m tired of apologizing to people who don’t deserve it. However, I’m most tired of apologizing for my autistic daughter. Today, while checking out in the book store, Harper ran away to go to the children’s section (without looking back or slowing down ) so she could press the heart of Elmo to make him dance just one more time. As the cashier awkwardly smiled at me, I apologized to…
Read MoreDad adopts girl with Down syndrome who was rejected by 20 families
Long before I became a mother I attended a lunch-and-learn about adoption. At the time I worked for an amazing social services organization as a Project Manager. They also offered adoption services. I loved kids. I wanted to learn more. I also wanted lunch. As I sat there I learned about the insane costs and time that goes into adopting a child. Story after story of parents fighting for babies. The exhausting and emotional process was laid out for us. I learned that everyone wanted a baby. I learned that…
Read MoreMore Than Just a Dog
Last night our family said goodbye to our chocolate lab, Bauer. It was sudden. It was unexpected. And it was traumatic. He woke up fine. Around mid-day he started having trouble walking. By 4 we were at the vet. At 4:30 the vet told me that he had a splenic rupture caused by a tumor and his tummy was filling with fluid. She told us our options. And then we asked her what she would do if it was her dog. By 6 he was gone. He died in my…
Read MoreA Dad’s Words: It’s just Different
We headed over to the ribbon cutting. Less than a mile away. Through the neighborhood and onto the new road. You could see the firetruck waiting to spray the kids from our house. Teenagers in band uniforms, unloading their instruments, waiting to play some upbeat song. I was on my bike, surrounded by a dozen kids. Almost all boys. Sawyer and his friends. Ages ranging from 5 to 13. They were talking about the free ice cream. Apparently that is the draw to get people to come out on a…
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