Archive for September 2018
The Decision To Have More Children
I had always dreamed of having many children. For the longest time my magic number was six. As I grew older, the number changed but I still wanted at least three kids. And my husband felt the same way. We married young and spent our first few years just having fun. We wanted to wait a few years before we started our family. A few years into our marriage we were surprised with my pregnancy. But we were so happy. We were finally living our dream of having a family.…
Read MoreLove Will Always Conquer the Grief
I had a dream a few weeks ago that I’ve never had, and have thought about ever since. You woke up and sat at the end of the kitchen table with me while I was drinking my coffee. I asked you how you slept and you answered me. You asked me to make you breakfast, and we sat and talked without an iPad screen between us. You told me about your friends at school and how you think the little blonde girl in your class from last year likes you…
Read MoreWhen Grief Affects Every Aspect of your Life
I was swallowed into the autism pit and it almost destroyed every relationship in my life. I became so caught up in my grief that I began to become bitter towards my friends and their children’s growth. Seeing their accomplishments devastated me. I would become resentful listening to them ‘complain’ about running their kids around or how many activities they were in., etc. I would snap at them saying, ‘at least you aren’t spending your Saturday’s in therapy.’ I stopped answering the phone and they eventually stopped calling. It drove…
Read MoreMedical Cannabis Update-Week One
I promised I would give a weekly update on our journey with medical cannabis for our severely autistic son. We are 9 days in! In Minnesota, medical cannabis was legalized for autism in July 2019. The program is regulated by the state of Minnesota. You can read more HERE about how we got started. After getting a prescription from his doctor and jumping through all the hoops, we started him on the lowest dose possible. Our dispensary offers three blends of medical cannabis. Think of it as three strengths. We…
Read MoreWhen Autism Makes People Uncomfortable
A time will come on this journey when your autistic child will make someone uncomfortable. Like really visibly uncomfortable. Maybe you are in line at the grocery store. Or in a waiting room at a doctor’s office. Or at a park. And your child will be flapping, running, grunting and loving life, just being happy, and you will see people move away from them. You will see stares. You will see looks. I want to tell you that how you react in that very moment is a really big deal.…
Read MoreWhat if you Didn’t Need Me Anymore?
My son, So many changes are happening at our house right now. Your brother is starting kindergarten in three days. You are getting a new brother in five weeks. We are still settling into our new house. And yet, with you and I, nothing has changed. We are still inseparable. I am still your person. I’ve spent time today thinking about my role as your mama. And your brothers. Sawyer is five going on fifteen. He is social. He has so many friends. Many whom ring our doorbell daily. I…
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