Archive for April 2018
Preparing to Move to a New Home
Today, we had our walk thru in our new home. The home we are moving to in 11 days. To say we are excited is an understatement. Our family has moved a lot. Five times to be exact. All for better services and a better life for Cooper. And we’ve finally found them. We are exactly where we are supposed to be. Cooper has an amazing village and he is thriving. Sawyer is starting kindergarten in the fall. Jamie and I both love our jobs. We are happy. Live is…
Read MoreMaking the Brave Choices
In the very early days of Mark’s autism diagnosis, I found myself in a little, darkened observation room, perched in front of a two-way mirror watching Mark during his special group speech program alongside other parents, who I would learn later were at the exact same spot on their journey. One of these parents has become a dear friend of mine, and as she put it when we first began chatting, she had unpacked her bags in the land of grief. She grieved what could have, should have, and what…
Read MoreI Have Hope But My Heart Still Hurts
My baby girl’s body is changing. At 9 years old I can see the beginnings of the tell tale signs of puberty. I am really hoping it will be a long way off as I am not ready for all that comes with that yet. Isla still needs a lot of help with toileting and is still in a night nappy so I do not want this to happen any time soon. My heart hurts. She is growing taller and her last year’s clothes do not fit. She has gone…
Read MoreConveying Love Nonverbally
Since Cooper was a baby, he has always touched my face. He will do it to get my attention or to show me something that’s important to him. He will do it when he’s excited, when he is sad or happy. It’s his way of communicating. He does it even before vocalizing. He always has. It’s our thing. This is how he shows me love. He will run up to me, motion for me to bend over, and palm my cheek with his hand. Sometimes, it is just for a…
Read MoreMy Daughter; Living Her Own Life
Tess came into our life in March 1999. She is part of a big family that lived in Africa. In 1999, Tess’s mum and dad were killed. The circumstances are not important. What is important is that in the blink of an eye, Tess lost her mum and dad and, after coming to live with us in England a few months later, her home, school, friends and country. Her world. Tess was 12 at the time. The loss was doubly confusing because she wasn’t able to comprehend what had happened.…
Read MoreWhat Do I Pray For?
When you get to a page this size, I’ve learned that a lot of people speak for me. Which comes with the territory I guess. And honestly, there is nothing I can really do about it nor do I actually care. But I always shake my head when a few of my ‘beliefs’ are spewed back at me. The curing or fixing autism is the one I shake my head at the most. You won’t hear me talk about it. You won’t read my words about it. I consciously choose…
Read MoreTo The Person Who Saved Me
I want to take you back a year ago. To a different me. When it was a much darker time. Where I was the mom who is spending more days crying than not. A mom who felt hopeless. Who looked at her son, and wanted to do everything within herself to help him, but didn’t know how. Who didn’t want to anything, anymore. A person who was depressed. I typed in the google search, ‘therapists near me.’ So many options came up. I’d look their profiles over, and they all…
Read MoreLost in the Woods
This post was shared anonymously and is about all the children and families that struggle with the daily life of Autism, Special Needs, and Mental Health issues. This is the view from my personal window. I Can See It I could see it all so clearly, like a movie playing in front of me. A curious child. A clever child. An autistic child. He is crawling out of bed in the middle of the night. He never has slept much. It was a pretty spring day earlier, and he wanted…
Read MoreAfter Thoughts…
As a parent, we have hopes and dreams for our children. I would lay in bed, watching my daughter sleep and smile just picturing the woman she would one day become. I saw an independent career woman, an amazing mother, a loving wife—I saw her living life to the fullest—enjoying every moment. Autism changed those dreams overnight. When Kya received her autism diagnosis, a flood of emotions washed over me that my mind and body could simply not handle. As the fog slowly began to clear, I was tasked to understand…
Read MoreWhat is Normal?
When I became pregnant with my first child in 2007, I had no idea the journey I was about to embark on. I felt that I would be like every other mother I knew and have that ‘normal family’. It didn’t turn out that way and honestly, I could have never imagined the hurdles that we would have to go through over the last 11 years. My daughter was born in 2008, health and happy. For the first two years everything was perfect. One day, I noticed a small tremor…
Read More